Greys Anatomy - What About Us - Japril

Try to slip past his defence

*voiceover*

"Pain. It's a funny thing. We notice almost immediately when it starts, but when it stops that's a whole other story. We never truly know when one pain stops and another starts because our levels of focus and consciousness are constantly changing. As human beings, we tend to misinterpret the slightest discomfort for pain, and if you never acknowledge that, you're going to live a very long, painful life." 

April's POV

I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness, each time more painful than the last. I wondered if the pain would ever stop, no amount or morphine was helping. I lied there on the table unable to move, not physically restricted but internally captive. My mind couldn't tell my body to move, well it was telling it to move but it wasn't listening. Wasn't listening or couldn't listen? I defied my body's wishes and opened my heavy eyes, I scanned the room but everything was blurry. I could make out the figures of my friends but I had no idea who was who. After about 5 minutes with my eyes open I concluded that it was Callie, Lexie, Meredith and Mark that were poking and prodding me looking for things to fix. 

Suddenly, I felt myself in motion. They rushed the gurney out of the room and into an elevator. Before I knew it, I could feel my heavy eye lids involuntarily closing. They pushed the anaesthesia and I drifted out of consciousness as they prepped me in the OR. 

Jackson's POV

I sat in the chapel, hand in hand with Harriet as we prayed for April. I didn't really know what I was doing, this wasn't something I had done before. I thought back to when April and I first met. She was the annoying, overly happy girl in my intern class. Then we merged with the Seattle Grace and she was the annoying, overly happy girl in my resident class. Slowly, but surely, we developed a small friendship. I would find myself protecting and defending her in situations where her name and reputation were being talked down on. I would look for her first thing in the morning when I arrived at work. We would hang out after work, before work, we even moved into Mer's house together. I kept telling myself she was just a friend. A friend, nothing more. But I was wrong, very wrong. When she would walk in the room, my stomach would flutter a little. When I would hear her voice down the hall, a smile would grow on my face. When she punched that dude straight in the face at that bar, that was when I knew I loved her. And then she kissed me. I realised that it was her, she was the one. Then somewhere along the way I screwed things up, everything got complicated and we 'broke up'. She met Matthew so I tried to move on. I dated Stephanie for a while, deep down I knew I was using her as a distraction from April. I know how bad that sounds, me using a girl to distract myself from another girl, but at the time I didn't really realise I was doing it. Then she got engaged to him and I tried my best to be happy for her. She begged me to give her a reason not to marry him and I couldn't, I couldn't break up her engagement because we had feelings for one another. She stood at the end of the aisle, me in the audience. I realised, that was my last chance. Mark's words flooded my ears, the words he said before he almost died. His words pulled me out of the chair and into the middle of the aisle. Next thing I knew we were running hand in hand down the aisle out of the chapel. We eloped and hid our marriage from everyone for a while. 

Then there was Samuel. Samuel should have been something that brought us together, closer as a couple, but instead it pushed us apart. We both had different ways of coping, I needed her, she needed space. We divorced and then we were gifted with Harriet. April married Matthew and I tried to move on. Looking back, I realised that I was always in love with April, even when we weren't together, even when we were seeing other people, even when we were just friends. I channeled all of my thoughts and feelings into this prayer. I reached into every corner of my mind and heart, drawing out every memory and feeling in hopes to make the prayer that little bit stronger. I could hear the small sounds of Harriet muttering next to me. She repeated ''I love you mommy, please stay.'' over and over again. It felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest, her words absolutely crushed me. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I had to be strong for her, for both of them. Gently, I stood up and pulled Harriet off of the seat. We made our way up to the front of the Chapel and gazed at the cold candles. I lit a match and hovered it over the wick of the candle. It lit, and burned softly. I lifted Harriet up, handed her a match and she lit a candle as well. We slowly walked out of the chapel and back to the waiting room.