chapter 23

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Sorry about not updating!! I was kinda busy and sthuff so yeah..

""Hey baby" Gerard smiled into the camera

"Hi" I saw that he still had the twinkle in his eye since I left.

"Sorry for not Skyping, the camera on the laptop broke because Frank dropped it on the ground" Gerard looked to his left "Hey! I didn't drop it, it fell off my bunk" I could hear Frank respond in the distance.

"It's okay" I giggled missing the guys little spits 

"How have you been?" Gerard looked back at the screen

"I've been missing you like crazy." I looked down knowing that I have been crying way too much

"I've been missing you too baby..." Gerard frowned. "But just think about this, only 9 more months left baby" 

These past months having been a living hell for me. I feel depressed and lonely everyday, mom is starting to get pissed off about it. She forced me to go to this youth centre to meet "new friends" I came home feeling more miserible about myself and anxiety at it's worst. 

"Okay, when can I see you?" I asked trying to light up the mood with the limited time I had.

"Oh, I'm not sure. I think the next big break is Christmas" Gerard scratched the back of his neck

"B-But that's 2 months away" I sighed

"I'm sorry" 

WHO'S AMAZING AND BROUGHT PIIIIZZZAAAA?!?!?" I heard someone scream in the background

Gerard grinned and turned the webcam around so I could see who it was. My heart dropped when I saw Lynz setting down boxes of pizza on the tiny table with the guys clusting around her

"Lynz say hi!" Gerard said

She turned around and looked at him and then looked down. She smiled her white goregous teeth and waved "Hi Lisa!"

I smiled fakely at her while I waved not assuming the worst. Gerard turned back around the webcam and thank Lynz for the slice of pizza he just got offered. 

"I better go, my mom needs me." I lied 

"Oh..." Gerard genuinely looked disappointed

"I'm sorry" I apologized feeling guilty that I lied

"No, no it's okay. I was just hoping we could of had a long talk tonight but it's okay. Another time" Gerard picked at his pizza.

"Yeah, Bye" I smiled 

"Bye, I love you" Gerard looked at me smiling sweetly at me

"I love you too" I hung up and closed my laptop

I was feeling numberous amout of emotion at the one time. I felt jealous that Lynz was there with the guys and I wasn't. I felt upset that I was thinking Lynz might steals Gerards heart and I felt guilty that I was being short and blunt with Gerard when really he wanted a nice long talk. I was so confused right now.

I went down stair to talk to mom. I needed her advice.

"Mom?" I called out walking into the kitchen

"Shhh! Yeah, yeah. That would be great.Yeah, See you then. Okay, bye" Mom shook her hand at me while talking on the phone. 

"Who was that?" She hung up.  I heard a male voice on the other end of the line.

"Jeff" Mom smiled at her phone and typing a message

"Who the hell is Jeff?" I asked trying to see her phone while she tried to hide it

"You're so nosy! I don't go into your love life" Mom giggled

"When did you start haviing a love life? The last time I heard you talking about men you said you never wanted to see a man again"  I said shocked 

"Well honey, Jeff is different. He's.... Sweeter" Mom stared into the distance.

"Okay, okay but mom. I need advice, in...something" I hesitanted

"What is it honey?" Mom 

"It's Gerard and I.... He's getting close to another girl. She's really beautiful and they're old friends. I know I should trust thim and I do but I just think I don't trust her." I explained felling teh jealousy rumbling in my stomach.

"Oh, well do you think Gerard is cheating on you?" Mom asked rubbing my shoulder

"God no, i'm just afraid that Lynz is flirting with him" I looked down feeling tears building up in my eyes 

"You have to trust both of them that nothing is happening. There's nothing you can do if there is" 

"Thanks mom, that makes me feel so much better" I interrupted 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say." Mom stared at her phone

"Ugh!" I went to my bedroom suddenly feeling angry and annoyed at everyone. 

I felt so overwhelmed that right now Gerard could be cheating on me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tear my hair out. Instead I just crashed onto my bed and cried until I fell asleep

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