Epiphany

5 ~ Green With Envy

The train screeched to a halt at Hogsmeade station; Lily and Sev left their compartment alongside Pepper, who had recently rejoined them. When Lily had returned from the bathroom a few moments ago, Severus had been oddly quiet, leaving her suspicious of another meeting with Potter. Yet, as Sev wouldn't disclose the details, Lily assumed it to be nothing of importance.

"Firs' years!" Called out Hagrid, the half-giant gameskeeper of Hogwarts, "Firs' years follow me!"

Lily remembered how overwhelming it had been when she had first joined Hogwarts and made certain to give encouraging smiles to all the confused looking newcomers. Severus pulled her away from them before she could introduce herself, however.

"You don't know them Lily," Was his excuse, "You don't know where they've come from."

"And I never will if I can't introduce myself!" Lily argued, yet she allowed herself to be dragged away.

The two of them quickly found a place inside one of the carriages, as far from the 'Marauders' as Severus could find, Lily noticed, and it wasn't long before they began their journey towards the castle. Whilst Sev once again stared into space, Lily couldn't help but wonder what was making Potter and Black laugh so much. She peeked behind her, cautious not to attract attention, and watched as they grinned at one another. If she listened carefully, she could just about hear that they were teasing poor Peter about something. But when she looked to see if Peter was upset, Lily saw that he was laughing with them, as was Remus.

Looking back at Sev gazing out of the window, Lily couldn't help but envy the bond those four had, as she always did. Though her and Severus were close friends, she knew that Potter, Black, Peter and Remus were brothers. There was no denying that they were family, and the same certainly did not apply to her own friendships.

The carriages stopped, and Lily was woken from her reverie as her peers began to file out into the castle. She ignored Sev's helping hand as she stepped out, slightly bitter though she couldn't say why.

As always, the moment Lily entered Hogwarts castle, she felt at home. There was something about the beige brick walls and the cathedralic architecture that resonated with her. It was safe and comforting, but most importantly it was a place where she could be herself. At home, the very mention of magic led to her sister leaving and her parents, though they tried to hide it, feeling uncomfortable. But here it was not only accepted, but encouraged for her to learn about magic.

Sev, however, seemed unmoved at their arrival, telling Lily to hurry up or they would be late to the feast.

The great hall was perhaps Lily's favourite spot in Hogwarts, second only to the library, due to the sheer poetry of the star-like floating candles under the starlit apparition of the sky. She and Severus shared no goodbye as they parted ways, Lily sitting at the Gryffindor table and Sev at the Slytherin one.

The separation of houses was perhaps the singular flaw of the room, mostly because Lily dreaded sitting with the girls in her dorm. Not that there was anything wrong with Marlene, Mary, Alice and Dorcas, it was simply that Lily felt like the black sheep of the group. They were perfectly nice girls, talented witches as well, however they seemed very fond of Potter and his friend. This alone led Lily to believe them unagreeable, but she was determined to give them a second chance this year.

"Lils!" Marlene exclaimed loudly as Lily sat beside her, "Thank Merlin you're here, Dorcas was just saying that, get this, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are a couple! Apparently she saw them holding hands and talking in a compartment all on their own on the train! It's adorable if true, but I'm still certain that Remus has a thing for our Alice..."

Lily stopped listening halfway through the conversation, though you could hardly call it that as Lily did not once speak, providing 'hmm's and 'uh-huh's when Marlene went quiet. Honestly, she did not care whether Remus and Black were dating, it made no difference to her and she found it rather bizarre that Marlene had so much to say about it.

Across the table she spotted Potter chatting with Peter and the so-called couple, laughing and joking around. She smiled, once again feeling that small amount of jealousy and once again pushing it to the back of her mind.