Epiphany

15 ~ Quiet Wonderings

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It was awfully cold in the dungeons. Lily wasn't sure how the Slytherins could manage. She had wrapped herself up in jumpers and scarves, as she often did when visiting Professor Slughorn, yet still couldn't stop from shivering. Other members of Slug-Club, as it had been called, had congregated beside the fire, and she couldn't help her jealousy. That was what she got for turning up late.

Every weekend, Professor Slughorn hosted a meeting with his little following of students, always at precisely six o'clock. They would discuss their studies, help each other with homework and plan seasonal events. This winter, like all the winters that preceeded it, they were to hold a Yule Ball for all students - fourth year and above - and every teacher. However, there was debate over the date, as November was too early, but two weeks of December would be the winter holidays. There were limited weekends to schedule the ball, and several had events previously planned.

The other club members would argue over this topic for hours, but Lily had no wish to partake in party-planning. In fact, she had no intentions of actually attending, so the whole thing was irrelevant. The last party had been a disaster, at least for her, and with Severus out of the question, she would be forced to stand with Marlene and the other girls. Not that she disliked them, admittedly the girls were growing on her, but it meant she would be forced to stand with James. Since he and Mary had begun dating, he seemed to be everywhere Lily went. She could handle seeing them together, but he had been attempting to star conversation with her, which she couldn't bare. A whole evening of it would be torture.

She knew Severus was watching her from across the room. He hadn't spoked a word to her since the incident of the previous day, and she hadn't forgiven him. She wasn't sure she could. Yet, a quiet murmuring voice in her ear whispered that there was an explanation, that she had misunderstood. It was stupid. There was no room for misunderstandings.

Lily inhaled deeply and attempted to take no notice of the snake in the room.

Instead, she thought of the potions homework. The homework she had to work on with none other that James Potter. The very person she hoped to avoid at all cost. It was ridiculous how prominent he had become in her life over the past few weeks. Hopefully it meant she could forget about him for the rest of her life. Usually, Lily had no issue with homework, especially relating to potions, yet she hadn't quite thought of a way to divide the workload that allowed her to ignore James without forcing herself to do all the work.

"What do you think Lily?" Someone asked.

"Hm?" Lily hadn't at all been paying attention to the conversation, and felt quite embarrassed at not knowing the question's context.

"Grace wants everyone to have a designated dance partner, for in case they aren't asked, and we were wondering if partners should come from the same house or not." Alice explained, Lily made a mental note to thank her later.

"Absolutely, from the same houses. Imagine the chaos if rival houses were forced to dance!" While the point seemed convincing to everyone else, Lily's main worry was that she would be paired with Severus and he would assume her lack of attendance was due to him. Which it would be, in part, but she refused to cause him that embarrassment, in case there was more to the story.

Whatever the case, Lily would rather confess her feelings to Potter than attend the Yule Ball. She was utterly determined to not go.

Which meant, of course, she would be forced to.