Epiphany

24 ~ Aftermath

Lily sat in the second floor girl's bathroom, eating her breakfast alone. She'd given up on sitting in the Great Hall, instead opting to get food early and sneak away before anyone arrived. The whispers, the sneering looks, the glaring eyes had all become too much. What made it worse was hearing Potter laughing with his stupid friends like nothing had happened at all. It was too much to bear.

"You again," Myrtle groaned, emerging from her toilet, "Merlin, I thought you said you found someone to sit with."

In the few weeks after the Christmas break, Myrtle had been Lily's only friend in the world. As it turned out, when the ghost wasn't being mocked or reminiscing about her death, she was really friendly and had practically adopted Lily as a younger sister - although Myrtle had only been fourteen when she died. 

"I have," Lily confirmed and Myrtle raised a brow, "He's coming here in a bit."

"A boy!?" Myrtle exclaimed, outraged. "But this is a girl's bathroom!"

"A girl's bathroom that's as good as abandoned."

"But it's the principle of it!" She protested. "You can't have a boy in here, even if no one uses it."

"Too late," Lily said as Severus peered through the door.

"Did we have to meet in a girl's bathroom?" He asked, turning up his nose.

"See!" Myrtle chimed in, before returning to her toilet in protest.

Lily still felt strange being around him and memories of that day in Hogsmeade kept emerging, but it wasn't as if she had any other options. Besides, Sev had told her that it had been a misunderstanding. She had chosen to ignore the plot holes in his explanation. At least he hadn't completely cut ties with her after the Yule Ball incident, unlike Marlene, Dorcas and Alice. And Mary, of course.

A surge of guilt overcame her, because she had known. Everyone had known that Potter and Mary were together. She had no excuse, as the girls had reminded her when she finally returned to the dorm room. Their harsh words, though deserved, had cut deep. She'd taken to heading to bed late and leaving early, after that.

"Lily?" Severus placed a hand on her arm. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but Lily couldn't help but flinch away. A hurt look crossed his face momentarily, before vanishing. "You alright?"

"Yeah," She lied. Because of course she wasn't. How could she be? The whole school had condemned her, while Potter got off scot-free. 

It wasn't even surprising. Of course the prince of Gryffindor, their beloved seeker was framed as innocent. It was all Lily's fault, clearly, even though it had been Potter who instigated the whole thing. She'd just been swept up in the moment, confused by the glittering lights and blaring music. It had nothing to do with the butterflies that had been building up for months, years even. They were barely relevant.

"So what are you planning for potions?" Severus asked, snapping her from her reverie. "Are you gonna ask Slughorn if you can swap partners?"

"Um." It was a good question. One Lily didn't know the answer to herself. She wanted to, obviously, but she knew that Slughorn would deny her request. "I mean, it's probably too late for that. I've been ignoring him thus far, so I think I can manage it."

"Okay, if you're sure." Lily was grateful that Severus was nothing like the girls: he never pushed anything too far. He never pushed anything at all, actually. Sometimes, she wondered whether he actually cared about anything she said. "Anyway, the Slytherin vs Gryffindor match is coming up. I'm sure that'll cheer you up: I guarantee Potter will make a fool of himself, like always. Reg has been training for months so-"