Epiphany

8 ~ And So It Begun

Evans left James more confused than she usually did. This was probably the first time she had 'fought back', as Sirius put it (James hated the phrase, it made him sound like a bully). And he had been careful to avoid her. She had mentioned something about 'getting Snape involved' and 'a week's detention', which, he had to admit, sounded like something he'd do. But this time he was certain he hadn't done it.

The Marauders had skipped breakfast that morning. They were busy prepping for the next full moon, so, by the time Remus came back with their timetables, they had to leave for their first lesson.

Transfiguration first, which James was brilliant at, if he did say so himself (which he did, often). McGonagall might hate him, but she couldn't deny his good grades (in that singular class...). Then muggle studies, which he had taken to understand Remus' pop-culture references and was mildly disappointed by, with Evans. He sat behind her, so he was privy to all her giggles and eye-rolls. Perhaps he enjoyed it, he could pretend they made the jokes together, that he understood why she was irritated. Perhaps he liked the lesson more than he let on.

If he was honest with himself, he wished that him and Lily would get along.

But boy, did James love to lie.

They all met by the lake. Sirius had finally found his cat, though he held it at an arm's length. When the unnamed cat (James had been calling it James Jr.) jumped into the lake, chaos unsued. Sirius soon followed, then James, then Remus, then Peter until they were all soaked through and laughing.

The laughter stopped when Evans stormed off, not a minute later.

"That was uncalled for!" Sirius shouted.

"I should make sure she's alright." Was Remus' response, as he ran after her.

"Are you alright James?"

"I'm fine Peter."

"That means he isn't." Sirius chipped in, surprisingly cheerful.

"I'm fine."

"The girl hit you with a book, I highly doubt you're 'fine'."

"Shut up Padfoot."

"James-"

"SHUT IT!"

Sirius flinched.

"I-" James started, taking a breath, "I need to be alone for a bit."

He left, wondering if Evans felt as confused as he did.

James had never found peace in the library before. The smell of old books reminded him of his grandparents' home, which was anything but quiet, and the silence was more unnerving than calming. But there was no doubt that this was the place to think. Besides, anyone looking for him would never think to come here.

The librarian was immediately suspicious of him, he didn't blame her, so he plucked a book from a random shelf to excuse his presence. Flipping to a page, James stared blankly at the words. He was being dramatic. Evans had never liked him, and he had certainly never liked her. Until-

He slammed the book shut. Trying to distract himself by going to her domain was not one of his smartest ideas.

Suddenly feeling very much alone, James headed to his next lesson early. Defense Against The Dark Arts was fun in theory, but in practice it was a lot of standing around and waiting for your turn to cast a spell. They were working on the patronus charm this week. 'It could be used against dementors' blah blah 'spirit animal' blah blah blah 'learning early beacuse of threats' blah. A whole load of boring.

What was worse, was that the Aurors were assisting with the lessons for the forseeable futute. Which meant a lot of Strix fawning over him (pun very much intended).

"Are you alright today James?" She asked, looking concerned.

"Absolutely perfect." He said sarcastically.

Remus kept making eye contact with him in an attempt to ask a similar question. James pretended he couldn't see it.

"Miss Evans, I believe it is your turn." Announced the professor he had forgotten the name of. "Attempt to cast the patronus charm by saying 'expecto patronum' and waving your wand like we have practised."

Evans stepped to the front of the class, seemingly nervous. It was obvious she would cast it on her first try, like always with these things. She waved her wand, said the words and, to no one's surprise, cast the charm. A blue shape appeared at the tip of her wand, quickly forming a shape. James briefly wondered what her animal could be: a cat, like McGonagall? some sort of owl? or-

A doe.

Crap.