Epiphany

16 ~ Much Appreciated

"Students of Hogwarts, the annual Hogwarts Yule Ball is fast approaching. Professor Slughorn and our top students have worked incredibly hard planning the event, aiming on assuring every student enjoys themselves." Dumbledore's announcements were usually dull and ignored, but the Great Hall was silent as everyone listened, hanging on to his every word. "As always, the ball is only to be attended by fourth year pupils and above, however the rest of the school will enjoy an extended weekend.

"Last year, there were complaints of having little to do if one did not have a partner, so we will remedy that this year through registration of those with and without a partner. If you wish to attend as a pair but do not have anyone to ask, someone from your house and year group shall be assigned to you, if they suffer the same dilemma.

"Of course, no one will be forced to attend, with or without a partner. Though, those who are not attending are asked to remain in their common rooms to prevent accidents, as all teachers and aurors will be supervising the dance.

"Thus, my announcement is concluded. Any queries can be asked to Professor Slughorn or myself. You may resume your breakfasts."

James sat quietly as the whole school began loudly sharing their plans for the following weekend. It was no surprise to the Marauders, as Peter had informed them a few weeks ago, yet the excitement reached them all the same. Sirius and Remus had planned to sign up together, Peter was secretive yet mentioned having someone to ask, and James would take Mary. He had a date with her later that day, and would ask her then.

He did not feel as happy as he felt he should. But, it had all been planned out. There was nothing to fuss over, nothing to enthuse him, so he was left with nothing but worries. There was, at least, no shortage of those.

The whole Evans dilemma had thrown him off course. He shouldn't think twice about taking Mary. They were together, they liked each other, it was obvious they should attend together. Yet, he kept thinking about his patronus. A stag, as he had assumed it would be. And Lily's: a doe. It certainly complicated things, the unknown connection between them. Enemies or lovers. He wasn't sure which he was supposed to hope for. He wasn't sure which would be true. Both unsettled him, though for different reasons.

Before he knew it, half a day had passed and he was preparing for his date with Mary. Though another girl still ruled over his mind. 

"James?" A knock at the dormitory door.

"Come in."

The door swung open and Sirius emerged, inspecting James suspiciously. After a moment, he nodded, "Something's definitely bothering you."

"What are you talking about, Padfoot?" James replied, with as good a smile as he could muster.

"You've not been acting yourself: you refused to play quidditch, you spaced out in Transfiguration, you didn't laugh at my 'Sirius' pun-"

"That's 'cause it wasn't funny."

"I am wounded Jamie." He said in a voice that did not indicate a wound of any kind, "Aren't I allowed to be worried about my favourite brother?"

"You do have an actual brother, you know."

"Yeah, you, you idiot. This is what I'm talking about. The James I know would've shot back some witty joke, and not tried to avoid the subject." Sirius sighed. "Look mate, we're here, I'm here, if you need support. You don't have to hide things from us."

"I know. I'm fine." James said, pushing his way out the room. "I don't need lecturing, but whatever. It's much appreciated."

If he'd looked back, he would've seen the pained expression he'd caused. But James kept walking til he'd reached Hogsmeade.

Mary met him outside of Teas & Trinkets. She seemed in good spirits, and his annoyance had mostly burned out by the time he'd spotted her. They walked quietly together, arms linked, not a word spoken. James enjoyed the silence.

Only when they had reached Hogsmeade's outskirts, away from any prying eyes, did James speak.

"Do you wanna go to the Yule Ball with me?" He asked awkwardly, turning to face Mary.

She breathed a sigh of what seemed to be relief, "I was hoping you'd ask, but I couldn't be sure. Of course I'll go with you James."

A quiet laugh escaped him and he realised he'd been worried she would say no. Maybe the stress had only been about that and not... anything else. 

Mary's fingers intertwined with his. She gave a gentle squeeze and leant against his shoulder. Burying his face in her hair, he slowed his breaths to match the pace of hers, feeling utterly content.

They stood, together and still, watching as the sky grew darker and the day grew old. Before long, they heard the shouts of teachers rounding up students back to school and begun the journey home. As they did, Mary ran to join her friends and James spotted a familiar face all on their lonesome.

"Pete!" He called, but with no result, for Peter seemed to not notice him. James chuckled at his friend's obliviousness, following him as he pushed through the crowd and slipped into an alleyway. Cautiously, curiously, James followed after.

He stayed quiet as Peter sped through a maze of alleys and streets, intrigued to where he would end up. The sky darkened, the teachers' voices became hushed and distant, and James became less and less familiar with where he was going. Eventually his legs and patience tired, and he could bare it no longer.

"Peter!" He called again, "What are you doing?"

Peter jumped, spinning around and sighing at the sight of James. "You startled me."

"And you, me." James replied, "Where were you going?"

"Nowhere important."

"Pete, I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"You're always sneaking off, as if you're living a double life." He knew that Peter thought of himself as the group's weak-link, but the rest of the Marauders worried about how distant he had become. "You don't have to hide things from us."

And then he understood. He understood why Sirius had been worried, why he'd given what James had called a 'lecture', and he regretted being so harsh.

Peter opened his mouth to speak, but was very much interrupted by a loud scream. Followed by another and another, til it was all either of them could hear.

"What the hell is going on!"