Charlie Robin Styles [Addition to We're Having Our Baby]

Kindergarten

Harry's P.O.V. Charlie, 5

"Can't we hold her back a year or something?" I ask, holding Em as we lay under the covers, discussing Charlie's first day of school tomorrow.

We've decided to put Charlie in school here in California since that's where Em and I's work is primarily located right now. I would love to move back to London, but it's just not that plausible right now. We'll for sure spend next summer there, but the future afterwards is unseeable for now.

"Harry," Em complains about my own complaints... again.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I just don't want my little girl to grow up," I frown. "She's going to learn how to tie her shoes and read and then eventually she won't need me anymore."

"She'll still need you, and it's a good thing that she's growing up. She needs to go to school to learn and socialize with other kids her age," Em plays with my hair as she talks.

"Yeah," I sigh and nuzzle my head into her chest, "I hope she has a good day and doesn't miss us too much. Is it selfish to want her to miss us a little though? Not enough to make her cry, but I just don't want her to forget about us, and-"

"Go to sleep, baby," Em shushes me, and I know I should sleep, but I can't turn my brain off from worrying about Charlie. Deep down I know she'll be fine, it's more me that I'm worried about. Either way, it seems to take me years to fall asleep.

***

"Good morning, Charlie-bean," I enter Charlie's room and kiss her forehead to gently wake her.

"Morning Daddy," she stretches with a yawn, "is it school day?"

"Mhm, it is. How about you go potty and then we can eat breakfast with Mummy downstairs."

"Okay," Charlie rolls out of bed and does exactly what she's told.

After breakfast I help Charlie pick out her first day of school outfit and comb her hair, but Em finishes it because apparently, she does it better than I do.

Before we know it, Charlie is sitting in her car seat, backpack on her lap, and Em is driving us to the school. We visited her classroom once already last week, so there's a chance Charlie knows where to go, but the kindergartener's parents are still welcome to walk their kids inside.

Em parks the car and we all climb out, Charlie being the first to grab our hands to walk through the car park. It's early enough that not everyone is at school yet, but we're also not the first ones either. I think most of the students who have already arrived are new to the school as well.

Charlie leads us to her classroom and once we're there she remembers exactly where her cubby is for her backpack. She puts her lunchbox where it goes as well, and almost runs off to sit on the carpet with her classmates before saying goodbye to us. She realizes this and turns around before getting too far. I let go of Em's hand and let her hug Charlie goodbye first.

"Be a good girl, okay? And have fun," I watch as Em kisses Charlie on the cheek.

"I will, Mummy," Charlie hugs her back and now it's my turn.

"I love you, bean," I crouch down to her level.

"I love you too, Daddy. Don't cry," she says louder than I would have liked.

"I'm not crying," I look around to see who may have heard, only to find that a few heads are turned. Most everyone is preoccupied with saying goodbye to their own children.

"Daddy, lying is bad," Charlie scolds me. This is not going how I planned this to go.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just going to miss you a lot. I want you to have a fantastic day," I try to cheer myself up.

"I'm going to miss you too," Charlie says quieter and finally wraps her small arms around me for a hug.

"I love you to the moon and back," I kiss her cheek.

"And even further than that," she finishes the line, then kisses my cheek as well.

Em and I send Charlie off to go with her classmates and her teacher stops us briefly on our way out to go over pick up procedure again.

I keep myself together until we get outside, but by the time we're at the car Em's hand is harshly squeezing mine and tears run down my face. I feel sort of pathetic, but at the same time I realized that don't care if everyone in the world sees me in this state. I'm not ashamed to feel sad that my daughter is growing up.