It's Me Vs You

Chapter Three

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You survived the abuse. You're going to survive the recovery.
                             - Unknown.

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Hello to my present! A new year! A new goal! A new me!

Indeed, last year was tough but I truly don't know what this year has for me. I will be twenty-one this year. Will I ever find the happiness I seek? I'm a fighter now. I know my parents want to see me succeed and that I will.

"First of January," I mumble as I lay on my side of the floor, my own bed.

A little smile finds my face.

"It's a new year!" I scream. My voice echoes and then silence settles.

I guess Rita isn't back from work.

"It's a new morning, a new day, a new year," I breathe out and scurry to my feet. "Hello, world! Ifunanya Dora James is ready to fight back".

I smile and pick my toiletries. Firstly, I need to fight to bath in the public bathroom downstairs.

Yes, I still live at the small cube. I know I should be grateful but it's hard to be. I deserve more so I shall work to earn it.

I scamper down the stairs and to the bathroom. Pushing and pulling the crowd, my eyes spot the door and I move to it. However, another person roughly pushes his way in. The real fight begins though not as punches. We haul insults to anyone and everyone who tries to cheat his or her way in. I do know some people's tactic. They bathe outside when the sun is yet to rise. I should have done that but I find it hard to sleep in the night. I still deal with nightmares so waking that early is quite difficult for me.

I successfully have my shower after some time and then, I head back to the small cube. I go into the cube with a smile but it vanishes faster than I can describe. You might wonder what made it vanish. It is a sight! A sight of someone! A sight of pain! A sight seen through a mirror. My scars!

My heart breaks again and again and again and again. Just seeing the scars makes me filled with despair. The painful memories flood my mind and all I see in the mirror is Ugliness!

    I'm Ugly!
       Ugly!
       Ugly!

No man can ever love me! I'm Ugly. I have UGLY scars!

I clasp my arms and my nails deep into my skin. Quickly, I rush to get my book filled with quotes. Yes, I have a book of Quotes to keep me sane. I do believe that the pen is mightier than a sword. Writers have the power to change the world with just a stroke of their pen. A story can affect the minds of its readers.

Reading novels is my safe haven. It has always helped me during my challenging times. I remember my close friend in secondary school who knew about the abuse I faced at home. She would always send snacks, books and torchlights for me. I would hide them in the store room because I knew that when either my aunt or uncle was angry, they would lock me in there. When they did, I would read and pray for happiness even though it always felt hopeless. I thought I would go to university to achieve my dream of studying psychology but I was presented with another opportunity to learn tailoring. Why would my aunt allow me to learn tailoring? Because her best friend needed an errand girl and I was the best option. Though her friend used me as her slave, she still did something nice by teaching me tailoring. I grasped that opportunity and now, it is helping me.