It's Me Vs You

Chapter Fifteen.

       ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

      Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.
                        – Will Smith.

       ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
     I was going down.
   My heart was shutting
And now, is in smithereens.
I still don't know how to react.
  I don't know what to hold on to
Not even my daily quotes can pull me up.
Why does the words of men hurt so much?
                Why?

I look at the students around me. Once again, someone had thrown an insult on me as they all found it amusing.

"Of course na. She is breeding rats in that her bushy hair. If I see crockroach there, I won't be surprised sef," a girl snarls as she munchs on her gum. She eyes me and laughs. "No go make your hair. Be looking like mad woman".

I ignore her. I had tied my hair with an handkerchief and had left it out as an afro. Many girls do this style but I am not surprised to see them mock mine. Another week had passed and the insults got worst. They took my silence as my weakness. Sadly, it was. I am weak, I'm helpless and I'm hurting. I want to make a snarky comment but I've lost my voice around them. I guess because they had figured that I have a low self-esteem and they are using it to their advantage. Precious is the queen of it all. She is always insulting my fashion sense, stature, look and all. It shouldn't hurt but since I don't have confidence in myself, the words do.

I know I should build my confidence but I can't help agreeing with them. I'm ugly. I. AM. UGLY.

Class continues silent for awhile before Precious gangs decide to pick on a boy who also had a low self-esteem. He insulted Precious to defend me. I feel bad. I should be defending myself. Now, he has to deal with Precious' insults too.

It is 11am as I walk out of the class and decide to stop at the toilet.  I wash my face and look into the mirror. I want to appreciate myself but a voice is always telling me, Do you think you are important? Do you think you are beautiful? Don't forget you are deformed. Your aunt did it to you. Hide it or you will cry more.

It's crazy how those words haunt me. A teardrop rolls down and falls to the sink. I stare at it as it drains.

"So you are here?" Precious' voice blast in the washroom. I wipe my cheek immediately. "Awwn! The pathetic girl is crying. So emotional".

"I don't have your time," I tell her and walk to the door. When I open it, six girls force their way in. They grip me and Precious asks, "Why are you always wearing sleeves? What are you hiding?"

I try to fight myself out of their grip but they press me to the wall and a girl's hand wraps my throat, restricting my airflow.

"Let's take a peep at your secret, fool! Stay still," Precious spit out and narrows her eyes at me. The girls pull my long sleeve shirt from my head and my white tanktop is revealed. Their horrified look makes me wish the ground could swallow me.

"Ewwww! Her arms, Precious. They have scars" A girl says with disgust and lets go of me.

Precious stares at me with wide eyes. "What happened to your arms?" she asks with concern.

The moment I was feeling some ray of hope that she was kind, she says "Nice! I want the class to see you. Zebra!"

The girls burst into laughter and they pull me to the classroom. It is break time so the teachers aren't in their classes.