The Perfect Storm 3

Chapter 235

"Are you okay?" Miles's eyes shine into mine despite the darkness outside, I don't remember if we fell asleep or how long we've been like this, all I know is that his eyes are the only thing I've seen for minutes.

"I think so," I say, my lips dry and difficult to part which makes me realize that those minutes were probably hours. My mouth feels dry and I'm craving water but his eyes stop me and I feel myself falling into the loop of watching only him all over again.

"Do you want me to take you to your mother's house?" He asks, his eyes soft but yet they're studying my face as if he's finding something rare in every corner he looks at.

"Yes." I manage and then I slowly bite my lip while my eyes turn from his to look at our hands and the way they're holding each other as if this will be the last time we'll ever touch again as if we know just much fuel we pour in our own flame. 

I'm surprised by how connected, how loved, and how intimate I feel with him when nothing happened, when he didn't touch me, or kiss me or hold me, he did nothing but hold my hand and I did nothing but hold his and yet I feel so loved by him, so cherished and so close to him.

His thumb rubs my hand as our fingers hold on to whatever our minds are letting us do and for however long it'll last.

"I can take you . . ." I watch his dry lips and the way he qucikly runs his tongue over them. His eyes all of a sudden look sad and his features aren't the same as they were mere seconds ago.

"but after I—" He stops and then he inhales a small breath before he lets himself continue again, his eyes are on our fingers while mine watch his.

"I need you to make a decision." He says, his voice almost inaudible. His eyes shoot up to mine and I'm lost in the spiral of hazel again. 

Before I know it, I'm holding something, something I don't want to be holding. His fingers are closing mine and my palm holds something that burns me.

I glance down as the bed covers cover our bodies and the darkness around us hides the difficulty. I stare at the wall behind him that now looks dark-grey instead of dirty-white before my eyes can finally turn to look at what he just handed me. He doesn't say anything but I can feel him watching me as my eyes examine the key I returned to him.

"I want you to move in." He says suddenly and my eyes shoot up to him. The thought runs butterflies over my body.

"If you want . . . we can even buy a place together, I want this to be perfect, I want us—" He stops when he sees that my eyes aren't on his anymore.

"But what if we just mess this up again?" I ask and suddenly feel the emotions of hurt run through me. How could he just kiss someone in front of me like that?

"Miles you hurt me and I don't know if I can forgive you," I tell him, handing him the key back and escaping the bed in a quick swift motion. 

All of a sudden I'm locked in the small bathroom of this large hotel room. I don't know what I want, but I don't want what we have now, I can't go back to something like that. Stephanie is right, I deserve to find myself, I deserve to test whatever is out there and be sure of what I want, but as long as Miles hurts me like this, I can't go back.

"Madison." I hear Miles knocking on the bathroom door. I bring myself to slide the door handle down.

"I'm sorry." He looks down.

"I shouldn't have done that." He admits as if having read my thoughts and feelings.

"You shouldn't have," I repeat and gulp down the tears that are rising, it's all too much.

"I still want you to think about it." He says, handing me that stupid key again, I almost want to burst into tears, but somehow, I manage to hold it all together by a string.

"Okay." I agree.

"But you have to agree to something," I say, biting my lip, knowing that he will hate the idea.

"Anything."

"You have to see me on a date with someone else, and you have to allow me to find myself or . . . someone else," I say quietly and I see his face drop, the color drained into gray. He sculpts his face again by gritting his teeth together and clenching his jaw.

"Sure thing." He says but his face shows the complete opposite.