The Perfect Storm 3

Chapter 293

"Damn," Miles huffs all of a sudden, after almost a fifteen-minute drive in silence and when we come to an abrupt halt, I realize we're right in front of a gas station.

"I'll be quick," Miles huffs and heads out of the car before I can say anything. I glance into the backseat, not knowing what to think and somehow expecting Becky to be there, but she isn't and her chair isn't even there.

I'm slightly worried about Becky being with Elijah and Stephanie but since they're pregnant now, I know they'll take care of Becky just as Miles and I would and it will be good practice for them.

I take a deep breath and almost immediately let it out, I can't believe how many things have changed and instead of just having one baby we now have two, one that arrived much sooner than we expected and the other still on the way.

I press my hand on my stomach, somehow trying to connect with the baby that Miles and I will one day get to see and that will have no idea of everything we've gone through or how difficult it was to get to the perfect point of being a normal family that has nothing but love and no pain that's somehow caused to one another every single day.

Our babies won't have any idea of any of this, and somehow that makes it so magical, it's only between Miles and I, and it's only something we need to know about.

I see the door of the gas station fling open, and Miles wearing black shades, his black outfit and shoes complimenting his skin as he walks back into the car, a pink energy drink in his hand; the one he always has around him when I first noticed him in my classes at WSU. 

I stare at him until he's seated right beside me and I can almost feel the anxiety that flows all around him.

"Miles, are you okay?" I ask carefully and he reverses out of the parking lot quicker than I can blink and then before I know it, he's on the interstate again, driving at a hundred and eleven miles an hour which somehow feels calming.

his fast driving is something I've gotten so used to and hooked on that it almost soothes me now.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he has stayed quiet most of today and it honestly worries me, it makes me feel as though we're back to where we used to be and that's nerve-wracking.

my heart starts to pound slightly, but I steady myself with my quiet breathing, making sure Miles can't hear my shaky breath.

"Honestly I'm just freaking out about Becky," he answers and puts his head down, "that's why I wanted her to stay with Stephanie and Elijah for a second, I need some breathing time." he finally looks in my direction and my eyes twinkle at him as tears start to form slowly but surely, the way that makes panic and hurt rise in me.

"You didn't want this?" I look down at my stomach.

I hear Miles mutter something under his breath that sounds like a cuss word and then some breathing and looking to the side, away from me and at the window.

"No, no, no, no, don't get it twisted, it's not like that," he says quickly, and presses his hand on my stomach as his soft eyes look into mine and somehow I believe him instantly. I know his eyes.

"It's just, I guess I--I want to spend time with just you," he speaks and I see how this is somehow spiraling behind his eyes, he seems to almost not know what to say every time he parts his lips.

He wipes his palms into his jeans before placing them instantly back on the wheel that's driving ups a hundred miles an hour. He plays a song on the radio and lets the silence between us be present and surprisingly with the pregnancy, I feel nothing but calmness most of the time which allows me to rest my head by the window and close my eyes.

Miles's POV

WHEN I HEAR MADISON'S light snoar; something she only started doing when pregnant, I know she's asleep.

Our hotel isn't far away but god damnit, I can't get over myself. Why the fuck is this trip so hard? I've tried my hardest not to cuss because it somehow feels wrong with Becky and MAdison's pregnant stomach around me twenty-four seven but god damnit.

I glance at her stomach and wonder how in the hell she could have ever thought I meant I didn't want that; the baby or her like this. Of course, I want both of them, god, I even want Becky, everything just feels so good with Madison by my side. How could I have ever not seen that? that she was so clearly the one for me when I first laid eyes on her. And I'll want all of the babies we'll have even if we get pregnant with ten more, I'll want all of it.

I pull up into the sunrise to Santa Monica, it feels surreal to be here, it feels so out of everything I've gotten to know and the little life I've created in Pullman. But if this is where Madison's dreams are then this is going to have to be the perfect place. 

I glance at the clock on the Porsche showing me that it's almost three am, the drive took a little longer than I expected but surprisingly I'm not tired.

A Pink energy drink rests in the cupholder between me and Madison and it's something I've been sipping the whole way, trying to think about everything that I know will have to happen soon or I won't be able to keep it in longer, I have to do this.

I clench my jaw and try my hardest to find the place I got for us and then finally, there it is, up on a small hill, overlooking the Santa Monica pier.

I leave all of our stuff in the car and close the door behind me, only grabbing Madison and slowly walking up with her sleeping body in my arms.

I unlock the door and I'm amazed at how modern it looks, it was one of the few things I could get last minute but I'm not disappointed.

I take a deep breath, look up at the three am sky, and close my eyes before taking a step inside the house. I rest the keys on a small table beside the door and walk into the bedroom, letting Madison's head rest on the white puffy pillow before taking off her shoes and putting a blanket over her. 

I don't have much energy for anything else, both the drive and what I have on my mind have made me more anxious than I think I've ever been before, but I still somehow manage to get myself into the bathroom, brush my teeth, glance one last time in the mirror at my bloodshot eyes; the eyes that are holding something behind them that it's time Madison knows. 

And then with a quick turning off the sink, I take my shirt off, throw it onto the bedroom floor, lie down next to her and close my eyes.

"Goodnight, Madison,"