The Life and Times of an Average Coward|| Demon Slayer

Chapter 19: To Reach a Hand

The Life and Times of an Average Coward

Chapter 19: To Reach a Hand

*-*-*-*-*

There are times in my life that I've felt unburdened to some degree.

It all came down to music, my release and my freedom. My way of being heard and being seen. It doesn't matter what type of genre it is, and who the artist is, all it mattered is that the message spoke to me to a certain degree. Like it spoke for what I kept close to my heart. The reason why I even managed to have a friend with a sweet and kind boy.

That's why I love music.

But the thing is, my whole life, that one thing that I love is the one thing my 'father' hated the most about me, and it never really got any easier when it all came crushing down with the divorce and my subsequent death afterwards.

That's why some part of me hated music, resent it even, to hate something you love is painful.

But my love for it won before my hate everytime.

It is my release, my freedom, and a well-loved language. To discard it is like removing a piece of me.

And I'm just me, no matter how small I feel given the time of the day, I never wanted to have that piece of me forcibly removed, so I fought desperately despite disliking confrontation. I gave my old sperm donor the talking to, got the subsequent violent response filmed via hidden camera and so finally, finally, the divorce came through and Mama and I were finally free after years of useless trials from bastards who think that just because Mama is of a different race make her less from them. Well now, they can't exactly say shit back when a.) there is a video of a child being beaten half to death by her own father while hurling insults b.) it finally got out to the media c.) social media people are watching the proceedings like a hawk and d.) it's gone international for some reason.

Well then, let's see how they can act like bastards after that.

Though really, my name came in handy, as a famous person in the music scene, but it is also a curse now that it exploded outwards other than in the music world.

The media is terrifying.

Like, it's not like we're the first family to have this type of shitty problem. Do you guys have to televise it, like really? They're making my life sound so tragic and pitiful when there's a lot of other people suffering out there. Just because I'm some quote unquote, "Disabled Music Prodigy" they had to cover our family drama for juicy entertainment. Dear Jesus, I was only nine back then, it was terrifying to have people I don't even know suddenly come up to me and ask me if I'm alright then proceed to pat me on the back and then give me life advice. At school, it was both equally terrifying and relieving, the bullying stopped to an extent, except for my school's watered-down version of Heathers, and the other students pretty much left me to myself which is yay, but their stare is unnerving to have at all times. Because of that, I was unable to go outside without feeling uncomfortable at extreme levels.

To say that my social anxiety shot up stonks meme style would be an understatement. I had to ask for many bathroom breaks because of it and ask to leave piano practice early.

But it got better in the end when it died down, everything was mostly back to normal at middle school though I was alone most of the time with only a few people to talk to. Which was great for me.

The media stations must be having a fiesta after my death, after all, the death of the young crippled music prodigy by her own 'father's' hands is such a huge scoop. I could only hope Mama is doing fine. But Gran is there for her, those two would be alright after some time.