Family: Out of Business

Refuted

EJ's pov

Claire's accusation that I was just like Father, hurt more than I cared to admit. What she actually said was, I'm worse than him because I can't even see how alike we are, or I refuse to see it. I never wanted to be like him. I've resisted it ever since I met the man at the tender age of eleven. Futilely resisted it apparently, according to my overly critical niece. In her eyes, I'm even more of a monster than he ever was. Maybe she's right. Maybe I've finally turned into the man I've feared and loathed more than anyone else for all these years.

I really need a drink but first I have to get some wheels. After the taxi driver dropped me off at the nearest car rental agency, I picked out an incredibly pathetic non-descript vehicle worthy of every lame-ass, boring middle aged suburban dad who walks the earth. God I miss my Pagani Huayra and my Lamborghini. I feel like such a loser tooling around in this fuel efficient economical safe family-friendly vehicle. It's so beyond hideous, I'll never get laid again if any of the ladies see me behind the wheel of this monstrosity. It practically screams, I'm an unhappily married, middle-aged, middle-class loser with a dead-end job, whose soul has been crushed by the hand he's been dealt in life.

Driving to the market, I reflected on what has become of my once fun life. How did I get here? Why the Hell did it come to this? I'm seriously tempted to drive this thing off the nearest pier and put an end to what my God awful future has in store for me. I must be out of my mind to even consider destroying such a fine vehicle as this Motor Trend's 2014 Car of the Year. Good Lord, I've finally hit rock bottom. Pulling into a parking spot by the market, I realized I may never be able to go back to being the man I used to be. Sighing heavily, I resigned myself to act the part of a sensible practical parent or guardian as I got out of the car to fetch some groceries and liquor. Lots of liquor and several bottles of wine. God knows, I'm gonna need it.

I suppose I should get some food for the snot too so we can eat some meals at home. The less I have to take her out in public, the better. I don't want people gawking at the circus freak I call my niece because that will just draw unwanted attention to us and we need to fly under the radar right now. Well, now and forever, I guess. Hmmm, what's that disgusting cereal she likes to eat for breakfast? It's something with a troll and a rainbow on the box, I think. Maybe I'll get her some of that plus some milk and orange juice. I should probably grab a dozen eggs, a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread too.

Look at me being all domesticated. How sad. I was meant for more than this. I should be at a club getting drunk or high as I decide which two or three skanks will be lucky enough to come home with me and pleasure me through the night and into the next morning. Lucky Charms! That's it! That's the obnoxious cereal the brat likes to scarf down at breakfast. Now what else does she like to shovel in her hole when she's not whining incessantly? I wondered, as I meandered through the aisles perusing the shelves. I don't know what the Hell to feed a little kid. Maybe I should get her some of that step two formula for annoying toddlers or pedia-growth stuff for whiny tots. Decisions decisions.

After grabbing some staples for the rube and some tea for myself while wandering around for ten minutes, I figured I better get back to the villa before the little monster wakes up and destroys the place. I took my purchases to the counter and paid with cash so as not to leave a paper trail. Despite buying all this food, I really don't feel like cooking tonight, or ever to be honest, so I think I'll pick up a pizza on the way home. That way I can feed the waif before I beat her ass, or after if that fits better into my schedule.

On the drive back to the unfamiliar dwelling I now call home, I continued to ponder my current circumstances and recent life choices. Being an amazingly handsome charming sophisticated uncle really is a thankless job. I'll never get any credit for all I've done so far to help my overbearing father, permanently absent brother, clueless sister, and insanely annoying niece. Claire's the one who most benefits from my wisdom and expertise but she'll probably never acknowledge, let alone appreciate that fact.