Paperlife.

"Facing The Music"

As I walk across this road of reminiscence, everything I've ever felt
I've ever seen, I've ever experienced flashes by...
Those things I never wanted to remember creep out of those shadows in my mind, to greet me bittersweetly
Once again...and reluctantly, I shake their hands and give my best fake smile. One after another, I welcome my past, my Polaroid picturesque memoirs...

Suddenly, in the midst of it all. I see a young boy roaming around these streets of consciousness. He has fair skin, dark hair, light brown eyes, and looks like he hasn't slept in a while.
Intrigued, I rush calmly down this reel
Of films from deep within my heart,
All my cherished moments that I've
so wholeheartedly collected and kept
Like nickels and dimes to save up for the future...
Finally, I catch up to the little boy...
In a spare room with all white walls, a mid size window looking out to a dirt lot, a large wooden slider closet door, dark rug, with no furniture. He had a quizzical facial expression.

"Who are you?" I asked. How funny,
In this realm, so deeply embedded within my[self], my heart, and my mind, of all things that I hold dearly and remember... here I stand... asking a question that only follows from forgetfulness or uncertainty.

"I'm proud of you." He replied in his youthful voice, disregarding my question. I stare at him, unsure of what he would continue to say, hoping things would make sense...

"But you could be better. You could be a better you. You're holding back on your full potential...like a caterpillar willingly staying in his chrysalis."

He goes on to say, "Don't be afraid to be the best you can be. You're everything I wanted you to be...you're on the right track, but you aren't everything I expected you to be
[by now]."

"What are you talking ab-..."

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" He interrupts.

I was confused, I was lost, and to some extent worried. But deep inside, I felt an earthy warmth, it was comforting. In my heart, I felt an obligation to respond to him from the bottom of my heart...something sincere. Anything sincere...

"Well...you're still young. And you have...well you have your whole life ahead of you. Ambition is key, if you want to be someone big...and... Never be afraid to be yourself. Be you. I hope you do good..." I began to feel my throat clench like I was about to cry. "I wish you all the luck in the world...mostly, I wish it for myself..."

I tear up, but gather the strength to murmur, "who...who are you?"

He stared at me, and suddenly I felt a chill, and he became a reflection in the mirror. Everything began to make sense. Everything fell softly into place like honey being poured in a jar. This isn't just some little boy, he, he...

He was me...

He grabbed my hand, ever so gently.

"Whatever you do, don't forget me, hold me tight. I feel myself dying, and it's changing you. I'm the only innocence you will have...and you don't want to lose that...not in this world. " He hugged me, and faded away...

Leaving me with so much to think about...to be better...to be a better me...to look forward to in the future. I wallow in my past for the last time, grasping the jewels that are my life's memories, and wear them around my neck. Cherishing who I was to be who I am.