The Things We Couldn't Forget

Chapter 16.

The air whooshes out of me and I struggle to control my breathing. Where only a couple hours ago I was feeling stronger and ready to face this twisted configuration of my past colliding with my present, now all I can do is try not to fall down.

I try to get a grip of myself as I feel the all too familiar buzzing of the anxiety creeping over my skin. I feel it like a dark figure standing behind me, his fingers outstretched towards my neck, ready to squeeze my throat until no air may pass my lips.

It's a cloud of fog that follows every tortured step I take further.

I feel it's presence, it's whispering, it's call to stop fighting against it. It's no use after all. No matter how far I travel or fast I move, those hands are always right there, inches from my skin.

My feet leave tracks in the thin layer of snow on the sidewalk as I go.

I imagine that my shadow leaves a dark slithering trail behind me as well but I don't dare look back.

I just keep walking.

When the cold has cut through the layers of fabric that surround my body and everything begins to go numb I slip into the diner, thankful it's not too busy tonight.

It strikes me then that I don't even know what day it is. Or what time.

I slip into a booth in the back and slip my phone from my pockets but groan as I remember it's still dead.

I have no phone, no car, and no money.

I stare passed my reflection in the window beside my booth, not wanting to see my own eyes that I'm sure are filled with frantic worry.

Instead I try to see through the building condensation on the window and out at the twinkling lights that hover over the downtown street outside.

Jasmine is still out there somewhere and I'd been wrong yet again. Gillians's earlier words come back to me. How I think I'm smarter somehow than everyone else.

He's not wrong.

I'd been stupidly sure that the killer would target Kelsea next because Rebecca had been my best friend. I'd believed that I could lead the police to Jasmine's body waiting in that field to be found.

I don't know anything.

Despite my earlier feelings, I come to realize I'm still just as useless as I was ten years ago. I still cannot do anything to help these girls anymore than I'd been able to help them before.

And Aries...

I turn my gaze to my hands folded in my lap, still tingling as they warm up from being so cold, but they're tainted again.

Again, I have blood on my hands.

This time it's Aries's.

My mind is encapsulated with thoughts of him. Him kissing me. Him holding me. Him telling me he missed me. Him whispering sweet words into my ear lying lying in his bed. Him holding my hand and walking me out of school when I'd found out my best friend was dead. Him being the only person I told everything to.

Him in handcuffs.

The police had handled him so roughly, so careless of who he was. They treated him the same way they'd treated me.

As if I was guilty.

But what could they possibly think Aries was guilty of? They say they know what they're doing but they've been looking at me and now at Aries? They're waisting so much time. While they focus on us, foolishly trying to make my square peg fit into their round hole, they're letting whoever is doing this go free.