The Things We Couldn't Forget

Author's Note

How do I even begin to say what this story meant to me? I am so thankful for all of you that read my book and made me feel so good about it to knock this book out so quickly.

For me personally, when I write, I enjoy slipping into someone else's skin to explore my character and try to feel what it's like to be them. I love exploring their minds and what motivates them, how they think, and what made them the people that they are.

It's usually an escape for me.

With this book, I took a completely different approach. With Missy, I didn't slip into someone else, but instead put my own thoughts to the page. It was extremely hard to write from my own point of view and to lend so many of my own stories and thoughts to a character this time. It was scary at first, to be that vulnerable with myself and you all.

Missy was a character who will always hold a spot in my heart. As someone who suffers with depression and anxiety, I wanted a character who could really represent what it's like to be in my head. Her constant doubts and fears that she has to fight against to lead her own life free of the chains of her past.

I've always had an interest in writing a character with addiction. Whenever I've read or studied other's stories on addiction I found it harder to imagine for myself. I've never been one to chase a high or want to reach an euphoria. However, with Missy, I could one hundred percent relate to the desire to just turn it all off. To slip into a quiet darkness where I cannot be reached by my constant self doubt and fears and insecurities. To wrap myself in a warm blanket of oblivion to all of the pain that I've carried my whole life.

Missy's journey was very much my own. The things she went through in her past, the way she felt about the events that took place, was all me. (No, not the part about a serial killer in the family 🤣) but her other personal struggles were my own experiences.

I used this book as a bit of therapy to show myself that I could be honest with myself and others about what I've been through. I know that the traumas Missy and I experienced were not exclusive to us. So many women, and men too, have been through similar experiences, and I hope that with this story I can at least reach one other survivor and make them feel seen.

We are not what has happened to us.

It is not our faults.

And we are okay.

Writing this book was so cathartic for my soul in so many ways, and I am truly in awe of all of the support and love I've received throughout this entire process.

Another part of this story that is close to my heart, is Aries. There are many characters through this book whom I based on real life people in my own life.

At the time I started writing this story, my Aries was still part of my life. The pain, neglect, and turmoil that Missy felt, was all my own. In many ways, writing this book, sharing some of our experiences and conversations helped me to see what I was lacking. To realize what I really wanted in my life.

The line in the end of the book, where Aries had told Missy "it's like we are reading the same book but you're chapters ahead of me" was something real life Aries had said to me once. Like Missy, that line always ran through my mind. How important timing is. How you can love someone so hard, but it still not be right no matter how you try to make it work. If you're not in the same place at the same time, how it can destroy the people involved.

Through this book, though we are in different chapters in our lives, I liked being able to finally put us on the same page.

To my readers, don't give up on finding what truly makes your hearts happy. Let go of the things that hurt you and keep you feeling stuck and like you're not enough. We are all enough for the right person.

I'm so grateful to Wattpad and the community they have built and the commitment they have made to each of us. I'm forever thankful to have found a space to let my voice and my characters be heard. Thank you to Wattpad for including me in this Creator's Program and working so closely with me to bring this story to everyone.

Most of all, thank you to YOU.

My readers.

Thank you for reading my books and pushing me to become a better writer each and every day. You all truly do not know how much your words of encouragement and your votes and comments make my day. Throughout this story I've been going through a lot, and tackling a lot of things from my past and I'm so thankful to each and every one of you for allowing me to get vulnerable on this one.

Thank you for seeing me and making me feel heard.

I, like Missy, look forward to seeing what comes next.

All of my love, Shelby ❤️