The Things We Couldn't Forget

Chapter 31.

"We still need to conduct a search of the property."

I blanch. "Are you serious?"

"You fucking know my sister had nothing to do with this shit!" Dallas stands, making Gillians take a step back.

"Look," Detective Mayfield puts a hand on Gillians's chest, pulling him back from Dallas. "I know it's inconvenient-."

"Inconvenient?" I guffaw. "Inconvenient doesn't begin to cover it."

Mayfield gives me a glance. "We still need to carry out the search warrant." He says calmly, eyeing my brother for any sudden movements. "With everything that's happened, we still have to be able to officially clear your sister. It's just protocol." He looks back to me. "Additionally, Carter has had access to this residence and like it or not your property is our most likely place to find any clues on Ms.Farmer."

I shiver in my seat.

Not one bit of this feels real.

I am stuck in this dream state where nothing makes sense and everything is turned on it's head. The entire room seems to be on a tilt-a-whirl. Every time I feel like things are settling, the ride goes for another spin and my stomach lurches at the inertia of it all.

They still need to find Amie Farmer's body. We all know at this point we aren't looking for the girl. No one expects to find her tucked away somewhere scared and alone but alive. The entire house full of people are sure of the same facts here. They need to find clues to her remains.

Such a poetic sickness to the word.

Because she is gone and all that remains is the shell that once held the soul of a living breathing person inside.

My own body feels tight, the soul inside being ravaged to shreds as it fights against the truth and feels like it is struggling to break free from it's own confines.

I'm trying so hard to hold it all together but I can feel myself pulling apart at the seams. I don't know how much longer I can hold on before I inevitably lose control.

"We will do our best to make this quick." Mayfield says waving a group of officers on. Giving the official signal to them to start tearing the home apart. "You three just sit tight and we can try to wrap it up."

I can hear Taylor in the other room on the phone with someone, but the rest of the house is quiet.

No one speaks, no more loud shouting or chatter to drown out the buzzing in my ears.

Officers move all over the house, scrutinizing every inch. I can hear them checking every closet, every drawer, each of the cabinets, every single nook and cranny of the house is being inspected as the officers efficiently clear every room.

"How are you doing?" Kelsea whispers beside me and I lean my head onto her shoulder.

"I honestly don't know."

"At least it seems like they kind of believe you now." She whispers again.

"For now." I mutter back dryly. I keep waiting for someone to start screaming that they'd found something. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every place I turn I've gotten caught into the middle of this, so I have a hard time trying to believe it could be over for me yet.

For a long time Dallas paces back and forth in front of the coffee table. Over and over he turns, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as he makes his rotations.

I can't fathom what he's feeling right now.

He's tried so hard to keep himself separated from all of the darkness our shared past held and now because of me he's been thrust back into it.