Scared Of Healing

The First Day

I wake up in Ellie's bed with her tiny body in my arms and the events of last night come flooding to the top of my head. It makes sense that being in a new environment would trigger things, but my heart was just breaking all night. She couldn't sleep. Every time her eyes would close, she would see them. She would see the men who created this mess. And she would cry. She would just cry. Eventually we got her to take a sleeping pill and I just held her as she cried herself to sleep. I'm gonna have to call Louis about that today and see what he thinks we should do. I reckon I'm gonna find her a psychologist to see, at least weekly. 

As I think, I feel the little body stir in my arms as she lets out a soft groan. "Good morning sunshine!" I greet quietly, gently moving some hair from her face. Her beautiful brown eyes open to look at me and she smiles, "thank you" she says softly. I smile, "what for?" I ask, "last night..." she replies, "I don't really know what happened, but I really needed you" she says. I rub her arm, "it's PTS sweetheart. I'm gonna try to get you a regular psych so you can hopefully try to work through some of those things with them. You deserve to be able to have a peaceful sleep in your own bed" I say. Ellie just nods before nuzzling her head back into me, "what time is it?" she mumbles. I roll over and grab my phone, seeing that it's already 11:30, "oh my god Elle, it's half past 11!" I laugh out. She laughs, "that means we gotta get up, doesn't it" she groans. I nod, "I think we should sunshine, we've gotta change your infuser soon anyway" I say. Ellie nods, looking to her arm and picks up the tube connected to her. She follows it and finds the infuser in its bag, clipped to the bed head. She pulls the device out of it's bag and sees that the medication is almost out, "yeah, I'd say pretty soon" she says. I nod, "alrighty..." I groan as I roll out of the bed, "how about you get yourself dressed and then you can pop downstairs and we can grab something to eat before we remind Cal how to change your infuser" I suggest. Ellie nods, "sounds good boss!" she jokes, getting out of bed, unclipping the infuser bag from the bed and clipping it back around her waist, before walking over to her dresser. I smile, "I'll meet you downstairs" I say. "See you in a bit" she says before I leave the room.

I quickly get dressed and make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to be greeted by everyone except the girls. Sierra and Crystal are both working today but the boys and I, coincidentally, all have the day off. I get plenty of laughs as I meet with the boys, "you look like shit" Ash teases. I chuckle at him sarcastically, "very funny" I say, rolling my eyes. The boys laugh again before I interrupt, pointing to Calum. He looks to me expectantly and I begin, "we're gonna get you to change Ellie's infuser today to make sure you know what you're doing" I say. He nods, "why only me?" he complains. I laugh, "when's the last time you administered IVAB?" I ask. He just rolls his eyes, admitting that it has been ages and I chuckle. I point to the medicine cabinet, "packs are in there, infusers and other antibiotics are in the fridge. Ellie will be down in a sec and I figured we'd just get it done" I say. Cal nods as he walks over to the cabinet, "fair enough" he says as he opens the doors of the cupboard and pulls out a pack and grabs a dish. He chucks them both on the table before moving over to the fridge, grabbing an infuser and three vials of her other IVAB. He is more gentle when putting these on the table.

Cal sits himself at the counter with the stuff and starts preparing. "Tell me if I get it wrong" he says. I nod, moving over to watch him with my hands crossed over my chest to keep myself from just taking over. He quickly sanitises his hands before opening the pack and grabbing the first pair of gloves. He then puts the sterile plastic sheet over the tray before grabbing the two syringes with the saline flush. He quickly untwists the cap of the first one and pushes the air out of it until a bubble of fluid forms on top. The cap is then twisted back on and he does the same with she second syringe. Once he has done that, he rips open the needle packaging and drops the needle onto the tray, then grabbing it's syringe. He pauses and looks to me, "what's the dose?" he asks. I smile, "three vials of the antibiotic plus 60mL saline to dilute it because her veins are so sensitive" I reply. He nods, grabbing three 20mL saline vials before the three antibiotic vials and they all go in the tray too. Just as he gets everything set up, Ellie walks into the room. She's pulled her hair into a messy bun to keep it out of her face and she just has a shirt and leggings on, keeping herself comfortable.