BY YOUR SIDE || HOUSE OF THE DRAGON

1.

"ONE DAY, IT ALL CHANGED.."

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⎯IT ALL STARTED WITH THE DEATH OF AEMMA ARRYN. She was the first death to lead to the end of the great Targaryen dynasty. Her death allowed Otto Hightower to twist the threads and place his pawns in order. Sure, you could put the blame on her. Or you could blame Viserys for seeking out a male heir so desperately, willing to go as far as gut his own wife. Or you could blame the dragon dreams that clouded his mind, making him think that this child was indeed the heir he was desperate for.

Or you could blame the Maester's that gutted her womb open to 'save' their precious little male heir. Or you can even blame the Old King Jaehaerys I for making Viserys I his heir to the Iron Throne, instead of Princess Rhaenys Targaryen. Or you could blame the sick and twisted ideology that only a man could rule the Seven Kingdoms, the same ideology that poisoned the minds of many Kings of old.

There were many to blame. Or was there no one to blame, but a series of really unfortunate events? Whoever or whatever you decided to blame. Just know it all started with the death of Aemma Arryn. Her death caused a drastic chain of reactions, a plethora of deaths, and the fall of a once great house. The fall of the Targaryen dynasty.

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Would she be pretty enough? Or would they fawn over Laena instead? Brushing away a stray strand of hair out of her face, she stares at her reflection with a silent frown. Her silvery hair is tied up in an intricate braid with strands left down to frame her face. The dark silver and sea blue broach in her hair glimmers in the candle light. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, her face was lightly dusted in a rose made to hide any 'imperfections', which wasn't helping at the moment.

Lowering her eyes down to the ground, she adorned her best dress and jewelry all of which were a mix of silvers and a royal blue. She was fully representing her house and heritage well. But, what if it was too much? Or what if it wasn't enough? What if they thought she was too proud of her house? Should she change her outfit? Maybe she should wear a different color? Maybe a light shade of pink or a different shade of blue?

"Should I change my gown? My hair? My jewels?" She whispers, fiddling with her rings.

"You look beautiful, my little zaldrīzes~" A familiar voice speaks up.

"I⎯sorry?" She mumbles, furrowing her brows together.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she turns her head to see her Mother leaning against the doorway. Taking a moment to take in her Mother's words, a bashful smile forms on her face. A giddy filling her chest. She thought she looked beautiful. Approaching her with a smile, there's a sudden dread thought in the back of her mind. What if she was just telling her because she's her Mother?

"Do you..Do you think I will be good enough, Mother?" She questions, "This is my first time going to court. I've never⎯I'm just nervous that I will look bad. That I will make us look bad."

"Nonsense. Why do you say this?" Rhaenys questions, shaking her head.

"I'm scared that they'll think poorly of me. That they will mock me." She whispers shamefully.

"There are many houses that will be there. There are many children too." Rhaenys argues, "Trust me. No one will notice if you fumble."

"I understand. But, I fear that when we arrive, I'd do something embarrassing. Laena, never did anything like that before." She whispers, avoiding eye contact.

It was not too often that she felt insecure about herself or or felt as deeply ashamed as she was right now because of it. Her Mother had taught her to be a strong-willed and proud woman. To embrace the long icy white locks that sprouted from her head. To know the language of the ancestors before her. But many had found that pride as arrogance, to think that she thought better of herself because of it. Which was not true. She did not see herself as better than anyone just because she was a descendant from one of the greatest bloodlines. She found herself the same as the others.

Chewing on her bottom lip, she feels her Mother's hand on her chin, lifting her head up. Lifting her head up high, she lifts her eyes up meeting her Mother's stern face. Gulping at the serious look on her face, she knew that look very well. It was the same look she gave whenever she would fight with Laenor when she was younger. Or whenever her Father said or did something he shouldn't have. Letting go of her chin, her Mother's eyes are narrowed but firm, silently telling her to not look away. Brushing away a strand of hair out of her face, she fights the urge to look away.

"Are you a sheep? No. You're a dragon. Be a dragon." Rhaenys argues, shaking her head.

"I am a Velaryon by birth, Mother. I have the ocean in my veins too." She reminds, "How can I be a dragon if I have salt in my veins?"

"Yes, but you have the blood of a dragon in your veins. You have my blood in your veins? Do you not find that important? Does my blood not have that much worth to you?" Rhaenys questions.

"No, Mother. I am proud. I just fear⎯"

"No more of this. No more fear. No more doubt. When we arrive in court, you will hold your head up high. You will stay composed." Rhaenys cuts in, "You will enjoy yourself at court. Make friends. Have fun. Do not overthink everything, you'll only worsen the fear that you feel."

There's a swirling in her gut at her Mother's words. But, that tiny voice in the back of her head is reminding her that she's just saying this because she's her Mother. Digging her nails into the palm of her hand, she stares into her Mother's eyes, looking for anything negative in them. For a lie of some kind. Something of deceit. But, there's nothing but gentleness and love in them. She wasn't lying, was she? She wouldn't be mad at her if she made a mistake.

"I would never lie to you." Rhaenys whispers, "I love you too much to lie."

"Is it really okay if I fumble?"

"Yes. You know, the first time I made my appearance at court, I tripped." Rhaenys explains, "It wasn't until the second time, I knew what to expect."

"No." She shakes her head.

"Yes, well that's the truth." Rhaenys pats her cheek softly, "In time you will find the right place in court, it may just not be now. There is no shame in that."

Nodding her head in understanding, she steps away from her Mother, nails still digging into her palm. Licking her bottom lip, her hands are clasped tightly in front of her, her shoulders tense and straight. Taking a deep breath, she removes her nails from her palm, she flattens out the wrinkles in her skirt. Yes, her Mother's words did make her feel better. But, the fear still lingered.

She didn't want to embarrass her family. She didn't want to embarrass herself. Pushing down the feeling of bile rising in her throat, she looks at her Mother, waiting for her reaction. Looking her up and down, a fond smile is on her face, a special kind of glimmer in her eyes. Feeling some happiness at the smile on her Mom's eyes, it wasn't enough to make her feel good enough.

"Beautiful, my little zaldrīzes~" Rhaenys smiles, "Absolutely beautiful."  

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And I am done with the first chapter of 'BY YOUR SIDE'! Stay safe out there guys!

I hope you all are doing okay emotionally and physically! I love you all!

I hope that you are enjoying the book so far! A quick reminder to comment below about the story of what you think so far!