Uncontrolled(Larry Stylinson fanfic)

Chapter 11: The louis for show and the louis for heart

Harry was sure he had never felt this happy in his entire life.
Everyday was wonderful. For the first time in literally forever he had a GROUP of friends... not A friend, but great assemble of people (well, just 4 people plus himself) with whom he could have fun with. They were all so different yet so similar, he discovered that they all had a secret talent in music, Louis could play the piano, Niall the guitar and Zayn and Liam had incredible voices! They all told Harry that he too had quite the vocal chords but he wasn't sure they were telling him the truth to be honest.

Nevertheless, if he wasn't in classes or studying or doing anything remotely Uni related, he could probably be found hanging with one of the guys. It wasn't easy with Niall at first, because he was so obnoxious and Harry was so NOT Niall... But he was learning so much from his blonde friend, he loved spending time with him because everything was instantly awesome in Niall's eyes and that was great.

Harry never had problems with Liam, they got on perfectly from the start, the only issue, Harry noticed, was that Liam had a slight tendency to act the parent around everybody else, it didn't even matter some of them were older than Liam, he was always a concerned dad. Except when the alcohol kicked in, which wasn't very frequent anyways.

Zayn had been Harry's best friend all his life, and things were just the same with him, the same perfect way they had always been. Sure they had hit a few bumps recently, but nothing that was bigger than their friendship.

And then there was Louis...
Harry was positively sure he had never felt the way he did about Louis towards anyone else in his life. On the one hand, Harry was certain his crush on the older boy was growing by the day! And it didn't help they were roommates, as Harry was constantly seeing him semi-naked, beautifully asleep or just regularly chilling... But then there was this mysterious side, a side he was sure only Liam knew about, as he was Louis best friend... Sometimes Harry could swear that after all the banter, and loudness and overall craziness that surrounded his roommate, Louis was somewhat unhappy... It was barely noticeable and you had to had spend a lot of time with someone to notice that when they thought no one was looking, when they thought no one would see, their smile would disappear leaving them with a great expression of sadness.

The first time Harry noticed this was a couple of weeks after his panic attack.
The 5 of them had agreed to have a little 'party' on Liam's place, and by party he meant Zayn, Niall, Liam and Louis getting totally drunk while Harry made sure everybody remained alive the rest of the night!

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO MORE VODKA!?" yelled an angry but tipsy Niall.
"If Mr. 'I got everything we need here there's no need to buy some more' had told us the truth then MAYBE there would be some left!" replied Louis smirking at Liam's direction, but Niall was already dancing to a tune only himself could hear.

"I bon't dunderrrstand wh'youuuuu saymmate" said Liam looking hurt, his eyes starting to water, "I bon't knoww wut happenedd.. I 'ad plennyyyy of buzzz inhereeee" he managed to get out before he completely broke down in tears, which made Zayn go up to him, gently rubbing his back and say "Shhhh it's okay Li! No one's blaming you!"
"I can't believe I actually hang out with you lot" said Harry with an amused expression on his face.
"Alright, I can't stand Liam's sobbing!" Announced Louis, standing up. "Curly let's go! We need to buy more alcohol or this drunks will start killing each other"
Louis walked towards the door and waited for Harry to do the same. "I'm not sure I should leave them alone..." said Harry sheepishly.

"C'mon Harry! They'll be fine UNLESS we don't bring any more alcohol, that's when the real blood bath will begin"
Not sure if Louis' statement was right, Harry had no choice but to follow him, he couldn't stand Liam's sobbing either.

As they started walking out of the apartment Harry noticed that Louis being quieter than he usually was. Most of the time he had been partying he was chatting nonstop! It drove Harry crazy! He wasn't exactly the chatty type. But this time Louis remained completely silent, it was Harry who, funnily enough, started the conversation.

"Are you alright Lou?" he asked genuinely concerned. It seemed Louis was too absorbed in his own thoughts to hear Harry. "Louis!" he said again, nudging him on the waist with his elbow.

"Ow! What?" asked Louis still in some sort of daze, "sorry I blanked out for a bit"
"More like the entire night" said Harry smiling, "there's obviously something on your mind" he continued, "wanna talk about it?"
Louis said nothing. He just kept walking staring at his feet. Harry, knowing how it felt when you didn't want to talk and someone kept asking you to, didn't press on the matter, but still... he was really curious about what might be keeping Louis from being himself...Or at least the self Harry knew about. The truth was, Harry didn't know that much about Louis. All he knew was that he was from Doncaster, the oldest of 6 siblings and that he was 2 years older but a freshmen because he had failed a year and then he took a year off after high school. The worst of this was that the information itself had come from Liam, not from Louis himself... For someone who talked so fucking much, he was rarely throwing out facts about his personal life, which made Harry even more curious as to what his roommate was really like.

After what seemed like hours, and when they had nearly reached the store the were going for, Louis got out of his mind what had been bothering him.

Do you ever feel lonely?" he asked, Harry wasn't sure that he was talking to him. But Louis had stopped walking, and was now looking Harry straight in the eyes. "Like... Even though you're surrounded by people you like, you can't help but feel so alone". The sadness in his voice was like a plead to Harry, a cry for help. But it didn't make much sense to Harry, how could a guy like Louis be saying those things?

"Well, yeah..." Answered Harry after a moment. "I used to feel like that all the time actually"
"But you don't feel that anymore?" asked Louis curiously. He looked so young, even younger than Harry. His expression was that of a little boy who just had too many questions but wasn't sure which one to start with.

"It's not like I don't feel it anymore" said Harry giving the matter a proper thought. Did he feel as lonely as he had before? Certainly not. "I guess this past weeks have been great, like, my anxiety hasn't come back and I'm always hanging out with one of you guys" he added with a smile, "I am definitely happier than I had felt in a long time... But yeah, I get lonely even though you guys are my friends" Louis seemed to be reflecting upon this, because he didn't answer after Harry stopped talking.

When they reached the store Louis was his "normal" self again, he even tried to flirt with the girl cashier to get a few beers for free, failing spectacularly. They returned to Liam's dorm and it was like their prior conversation had never existed. Louis was doing Britney Karaoke with Zayn, dancing sexily to 'Baby one more time. Liam was taking shots with Niall and Harry was sitting on the floor watching his new friends, still thinking of everything that had happened which wasn't much but was everything at the same time.

Did Louis feel alone? Was his entire personality just an act? But an act for what or Who?... Harry didn't know, he was so confused, it was like he was watching an entirely different person. The Louis for show and the Louis from the heart.
What was going on with him?