A Court of Light and Fire (ACOTAR)

Chapter Nine

Celeste could not recall her dreams from the night prior, and perhaps that was for the best. It was a blessing if she didn't have a nightmare now, but revelling in the warmth of her sister must have kept the visions at bay - if not for Celeste's own sake, then for the scare Nesta might have gotten if she were awoken. Nesta, who did not join her at training this morning - but did not stop Celeste from leaving, either.

Her mind had awoken her body just as the dawn began to break, the beautiful sky a portrait of varying autumnal hues. While the dawns in Night were clear and welcoming, they paled in comparison to the blanket of darkness that lured each evening. The violet skies seemed made of the same shade as it's rulers eyes, glistening with stars just as brightly as its High Lord's held.

But as beautiful as the sky was, it did nothing to rid the haze of sleep that enveloped Celeste as she stood just outside the door to the House of Wind's rooftop training ring.

She knew she needed to take this step - to start honing her body to the life of the fae as she had begun her mind. But standing before Cassian, shoes long discarded as she tried and failed to balance her weight on the centre of her arched foot, she couldn't help but ask, 'are my feet really that weak?'

The Illyrian - as alert as she had ever seen him - let out a deep rumble from his chest, his voice raspy as he spoke. 'The muscles there hold the rest of your body's weight -  if we don't build up from there, you'll be more prone to injury and fatigue as we progress.'

His voice hadn't fully awoken yet, it seemed. She found she didn't mind it at all. The sudden thread of tightness around her heart didn't object, either.

She continued balancing on one foot, arm extended towards Cassian for fear of tumbling right over as she had already done three times prior. 'Have you always been a fighter, Cass?'

His hand reached to grab under her arm when she found herself slipping forward. He didn't mention it when the flick of his wrist urged her to switch to her other foot. 'I was thrown into the Illyrian camps as a babe,' he shrugged, though a dark glaze had swept over his usually-bright hazel eyes. 'It was either fight my way up, or get beaten into a place I would never make it out from.'

She dropped her foot to the ground, a frown suddenly tilting her lips. The image of a small boy left with no mother or home in the ice cold of winter, scared and lonely and missing the love every child deserved sent her heart cracking. She knew that loss too well - had seen and felt it with her own eyes back in the human realms many times over.

'Hey, don't worry.' She didn't realise she had teared up at the memories shared until the male reached a hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks. 'I was one of the lucky ones - I beat old Rhysie up back then, and his mother decided he deserved it enough that they would take me in.'

She rubbed her eyes, sniffling once before balancing onto one foot again. 'Did you ever get lonely before that?'

The male thought for a moment, eyes calculating in a way only the strategic mind of a warrior could conjure. 'I don't think I knew what I had to miss so young. I don't think I was allowed the chance to consider it, either.'

Celeste nodded, dropping her foot to the ground and tilting forward and back on her heels as Cassian instructed. 'I used to wish my mother would look at me the way she looked at my sister.' Celeste didn't know why she was sharing this - should have felt guilty for speaking of her mother for the sting of memories made long ago. But Cassian's eyes were open, caring, and she felt she could give him this sliver of herself in exchange for his own tale. A shred of understanding for his sake, and much more than that for hers.

'She would stroke Nesta's hair, hold her close when she grew tired. I would run to her side, tug her hand, cry as I begged her to hold me too. But she never did.' Her eyes dropped to her feet as she focused on the movements there. She wouldn't let herself cry again - didn't want to see the male's sympathy or pity in his gaze. She just needed to get the words out that she had held in her heart for so many years - needed to shed the grasp the thoughts still held over her as she had her human skin.

'It was always Feyre that would find me, shaking and broken, and piece me back together, night after night. She would pick me up, take me to look at the flowers in Elain's garden before I really knew why every night ended the same.' Celeste smiled as she looked back up at the male. She didn't find the sorrow she had feared - instead, she found a spirit that matched her own. One lost, broken child to another; one person that had to grow up too fast, or risk losing it all in the process. Despite the situation, a small spurt of laughter bubbled up her chest as she continued.

'Once, Feyre had a small pot of paint, and she said I could use the brush to draw anything I wanted. You know what I drew?' Another bout of laughter had Cassian's own lips parting alongside hers. 'I drew us both on the back of the shelves she loved. We were stick figures, holding hands, and I painted the sun behind us, all in the same colour of blue.

'She's always loved painting, and I was still too young to not know what it truly meant that she had let me use every last drop of the liquid when it was all she had to use. She's always been like that - put me before herself.' She shrugged, and hadn't realised they were now sitting down across from one another on the gravelly floor of the ring as she spoke. 'I didn't realise that I should have been helping her too. Not until our mother and fortune were gone. Not until Feyte had abandoned her own care for herself, too.'

Cassian lifted a cup of water to her hand, and she took it gratefully. The silence spread around the ring for a long moment, but listening to their pounding hearts, breathing in the fresh air around them, something in her minds stilled that had not settled in a long while.

'I'm very lucky that I met Feyre,' Cassian smiled, breaking the comfortable silence as he tilted his head back to glance into the sky above. The sun had fully awoken now, and the pair sitting under it had followed. 'She's helped Rhys when none of us could - has helped me, knowing someone out there understood what our childhood was like.' His eyes dropped to meet Celeste's again, and he reached out a hand to her shoulder. 'And I'm very lucky to have met a friend like you, Celeste.'

With a squeeze of her shoulder and a wide grin, the Illyrian rose to his feet, reaching a hand for her to grasp. 'Come on, now.' He tugged her onto her feet, steadying her stance with the new weight of her wings that had appeared since they had begun speaking, popping up as they always did when she grew emotional. Stupid faerie instincts.

'Now,' he said when they stood across from one another, wings flaring behind the both of them. 'Let's get back to training those pitiful feet of yours.'

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A/N:
I'm really enjoying writing Cassian and Celeste's relationship so far. He is just the person Celeste needs right now, to push her and keep her held together all at the same time. What do you think of the duo so far? How are you enjoying Celeste's journey?