A Court of Light and Fire (ACOTAR)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Azriel's POV

Lucien had been visiting Celeste.

The news shattered Azriel.

He knew the autumn male had been visiting Elain - the girl sometimes accepted his company, sometimes declined it. But for Celeste to bask in his company, knowing the male's connections, knowing  how much Azriel despised him -

A bang pulled the male from his thoughts, Azriel's spoon clattering onto his dish.

A worried voice rang out from upstairs.

'Celeste?'

Azriel ignored it. When anyone visited the girl, he hung around; kept an ear out. In case she needed him. Everyone in the townhouse knew it.

No one mentioned it.

He claimed he was over the girl - that dwelling on someone he could never have would do nothing but cause him pain. He would forget about her as he forgot of all his past lovers, Rhys' sister included.

Another bang on the door.

A pain tugged on Azriel's heart with every knock.

He hadn't visited the girl for a multitude of reasons - most prominently, he knew he would not be let in. He would push her away before she could push him away; he would hurt her so the blame fell on him and he could feel no pain from the woman he loved. He was the monster, and she would see him as such.

'Celeste,' Cassian grumbled from the top of the stairs.

He shouldered the door.

'Open up.'

Azriel rose from his seat, empty plate disappearing before him.

He banged on the door again.

'I'm not leaving until you let me in. I won't eat either.' He banged again. 'I'll sit here all night if I have to.'

Something unleashed in Azriel.

The male released a growl. 'Cassian.'

The Illyrian froze. Slowly, he turned to face Azriel.

His eyes we're wild as they stilled on the male.

That should have been him at the door; that's how Azriel should have fought for Celeste.

'Leave my mate alone.'

Cassian's eyebrows scrunched together.

Azriel's throat bobbed.

He hadn't said those words aloud.

He hadn't admitted he still cared for those words to himself yet.

Cassian's fist dropped to his side.

Azriel stood frozen, glaring at the door atop the stairs. His eyes were burning.

He didn't wipe the tears away. He liked the sting of them. He hadn't felt much but anger in so long - but now, he had no fire left to burn.

Cassian strolled slowly - intently - down the stairs. He never took his eyes off his brother. He stopped by Azriel's side. A calloused hand squeezed his shoulder.

Azriel looked up.

'Don't give up, Az. Just don't.'

Cassian left.

Azriel glanced back up at the door. 

He thought about walking towards it. He took a few steps; a few more. He stood in front of the room so familiar to him it was like a second home - the first being the girl that rested inside it.

He stepped closer.

Closer.

He knocked. Rocked back on his feet. Nervous. Knocked again.

'Celeste,' he said quietly enough he wasn't sure she could hear him. He wasn't sure he wanted her too.

'Celeste,' he said again, louder this time. 'It's me.' A gulp. 'Azriel.'

The door didn't open. There was not even a rustle on the other side.

He leaned his forehead against the wood.

'I'm sorry,' his voice broke. 'I'm sorry I haven't been here, Celeste.'

He waited a minute. A moment more.

'Can we talk? Can you let me in?'

He didn't just mean in the room.

But Celeste did not answer.

It was not enough. Azriel was not enough.

Celeste's door would remain closed for another day.

~~~

A/N:

Completely off topic and not to ruin the whole emo-vibe, but Cassian would love the 'I'm Just Ken' song. He would claim it's his song; make it his anthem. 

"WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR HER TO SEE THE MAN BEHIND THE TAN, AND fight for me~~~"

Cue the dance routine.

*sighs* I'm too tired for this.

Maybe I'll write that in.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll see you in the next one!

Charlotte🤍💫

can you feel the kenergy? ID BE A 10 - IS IT MY DESTINY TO LIVE AND DIE A LIFE OF BLOND FRAGILITY-