TW: cursing; falling from heights; implications of suicidal thoughts and tendencies.
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Azriel's POV
Azriel didn't care that Helion agreed to come to the High Lords meeting. He didn't care about Thesan or Tarquin's requests for visitation. He didn't care that Mor was in shits, and Rhys was brooding again but thinks he can hide it with that wretched, hideous grin of his.
That's how Azriel has described everything lately - wretched. Hideous.
The wind brushed through his hair. His wings were heavy against his spine. Yet, as he soared high above the mountains of Illyria, swirling and soaring and free, he could do nothing but remember the days he could hold Celeste in his arms, hear her laughter in his ear as he flew with her for what felt like forever together. His to hold; his to love; his to cherish.
Fuck forever.
Nothing is forever - Celeste wasn't forever.
Forever wasn't even one fucking year.
He couldn't even have that much. In his nearly 600 years of life, he couldn't even get one year with his mate.
None of this was worth it. None of it. The pain he felt now wasn't worth feeling if he didn't have Celeste by his side. None of the pain she felt was worth it if he was the one bestowing it upon her.
He's a prick. A lowly. fucking. prick. Everyone he goes near, he hurts; everyone he loves - everyone he lets love him - he destroys.
Worthless. He's so fucking worthless and pathetic to have even thought of imagining a life with the girl. She is worth so much more than him - she has strength, power, ambition. Fire.
He has scars burned onto his skin and in his heart. Wretched, hideous scars that no one ever deserves to come close to if they want peace and joy in their lives.
He hates flying. He fucking hates flying.
So, he didn't.
300 metres above the lake, Azriel stopped flapping his wings.
He let himself fall.
He never wants to fly again.
YOU ARE READING
A Court of Light and Fire (ACOTAR)
FanfictionInstagram @charlotte_romeo_ ~~~~~ Celeste Archeron is forced into a body of the Cauldron's choosing, a life she never dreamed of living and world she never imagined calling her own. As the fourth and youngest Archeron sister, she knows of her family...
