Taking Chances (Remember to Forget Sequel)

Chapter 5

Luke's POV

Three days later and multiple voicemails from Delilah. Two visits from Ashton. Three texts from Michael. Five calls from Calum. All unanswered.

Lucy left a drawing of me holding a balloon in the mailbox yesterday. She wrote "Sorry, Lukey," with the R's written backwards.

I haven't talked to anyone but Ashton and my dad. Ashton is trying to make the situation better. He's helping a little. My dad still isn't sure of what to say, but he's getting better.

Ashton says Delilah feels really sorry, and I'm sure she does. She should be. She should know not to pick up her phone while driving. Ashton's been talking to her too. He's trying to get us to make up. He doesn't like seeing us like this.

I just got so scared when Delilah picked up her phone. I pictured her swerving off the road or crashing into something.

I pictured the worst in that split second.

Within a second, my heart started racing, my breathing quickened, my head became light.

I was afraid of losing her. That's why I left. I didn't want to be there anymore. I didn't want to relive everything that happened with Delia. The way for me to solve that problem was to leave.

So I left and started walking home. I didn't make it too far because I had to sit down on the sidewalk so I didn't pass out. I had to call Ashton to come help me.

And now it's three days later, and I realize leaving will not solve my problems.

I can't distance myself when I get nervous or mad.

I force myself out of bed and get dressed in something other than my pajamas. I write down my thoughts in my notebook. I've filled up a lot of pages the past few days. These have been my loneliest days in awhile. I don't like feeling like this.

I find myself walking to Delilah's house. It's like I'm in a daze, and this isn't real. It's like I'm not still upset with her, and there's not a lot of voicemails with her apologizing to me on my phone. I've listened to every single one a few times.

I walk around the neighborhood a few times, debating if I actually want to face Delilah. I want to, but at the same time, I don't. I'm not sure if I'm ready. I've always been good at abandoning my problems. I'm not good at fixing them. Half an hour goes by before I finally get to her house.

I hesitantly knock on her front door and hope that she's home. She should be.

I wait for what feels like forever until the door slowly opens, and Delilah is staring back at me.

"Luke?" she asks quietly, sounding confused.

"Hi," I whisper, looking down at the ground.

"Hi."

"Can we talk?" I ask, unsure of what to say. It's like meeting her all over again. I hope she doesn't notice how red and puffy my eyes are from all the crying I've been doing.

"Yeah, of course. Come in. No one else is home."

I slowly walk inside, it's like her house feels foreign. It's only been three days since I haven't talked to her, but it feels like much longer.

"I'm sorry," we both say in unison.

"You shouldn't be sorry," Delilah says.

I sit on her couch, and she sits beside me, but not too close.

"Yes, I should be," I say.

"Luke, you honestly have-"

"Just listen for a second. I need to say this before I regret coming and leave before getting this off my chest." It sounds harsher than I intended it to be. I'm not very good at things like this.