Once You Were My Friend

October 2021, Three Weeks Later

When Em came home on the Sunday after a weekend of celebrating Tamo's record deal, she was awfully quiet. Tamo came to drop her home that afternoon but didn't come inside. Em dropped her things by the kitchen counter while Nami was reading a book on the couch with soft music playing in the background. This time, she picked fiction and found herself being able to follow the words better.

"How was the party?" Nami asked regarding Saturday night.

"Yeah, good." Em replied, quite lethargic. She might be hungover, Nami thought, though she couldn't help but feel something wasn't right. She started thinking about the fact she hadn't told Em about her history with Sebastian, however juvenile that felt to her.

"I'm sorry I didn't come," Nami said as she held the book close to her lips, watching Em fiddle around the kitchen looking for something to eat.

"Sebastian was there."

"Makes sense."

"You didn't want to see him again?"

Nami put the book down. "Not really. No."

Em moved to sit on the couch with her, the spoon looked too big for the yoghurt cup. "You know, sometimes it feels like I don't know you." She took a bite of the yoghurt. "There's a reason why you feel like you can't get close to people. You think you won't get hurt, but in the end you just end up lonely."

Em continued to eat her yoghurt like it was the tastiest thing she'd ever eaten. All Nami could do was stare at the way she was eating as the words twisted into her chest unpleasantly. Her book was now closed shut, losing the page she was up to. Em's transparency was an admirable trait, but at times they could be blunt and borderline cruel for her sensitivity. Nami figured if she had a beautiful face, she could get away with saying things too.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Sebastian." Nami said, though she mostly apologised because she can't stand Em being mad at her for too long. It was always tiresome and alienating.

Em finished her yoghurt and put it down onto the coffee table. The weight of the spoon tipped the empty cup. She sighed as she put a pillow on her lap. "I'm not mad that you didn't tell me. I just don't know why you feel like you have to keep things from me." She could deny she wasn't hurt about not knowing, but her mood has shifted lighter since Nami apologised.

"It's a mystery to me as well." Nami said. She leaned back onto the couch, feeling small as if the backrest would absorb her. "Are you really not upset that I didn't tell you?"

"Fine, maybe a little." Em confessed. She was lying down on the couch then. "When I told you Michael Henry took my virginity and I told it in gruelling details, you never thought to tell me about Sebastian?" Her arms were moving in the air as she spoke, "It just got me thinking, what other things have you not told me? I feel like I tell you everything."

"I guess it felt kinda nice to have another friend that wasn't just you, back then anyway." Nami felt good saying that. "Besides, I don't think my life is as interesting as yours. So I don't say much. I don't know what you expect from me."

Em thought about what Nami said, her lips pressed as she began scratching off the red polish from her nails. "I spoke to him about you."

Nami turned her head. "Why?"

Em shrugged and rested her hands under her head. "Saw him in a different light. I had to get to know him again with you being associated. Wouldn't think he was your type."

"And what is my type, exactly?"

•

It had been three weeks since that conversation, and it hadn't left Nami's mind. She was meeting Sebastian for coffee during their lunch break. Their office buildings only happened to be a block away from each other.