At New Years, some rumours had been going around about Sebastian, nothing scandalous. He seemed to gain a lot of attention from women since his breakup from Shreya. It was the regular rumour mill that travelled between friends. Nami found solace outside once again rather than being surrounded by whispers. She was almost too drunk to care but she could hear it in passing comments. There was some hope that she'd see him here at Tamo's house but she knew that wouldn't be likely as they haven't been texting at all since that day. Besides, if the rumours circling were to be true, he'd be too busy anyway.
When she thought about that morning, she didn't really know what happened either. All she remembered was that she had wanted him to stay, only that he didn't.
She stared at the door where he once stood. Hearing the front door close, she went to look out the window again and saw him walking away on the street, wishing he'd turn back. But that would do no good. This was how they were supposed to be. It was naive of them to think being friends would be easy, after all, they had so much history together.
Em had come into the room and called Nami's name.
"Babe?" She called again. "I just saw him leave."
Nami turned around and she didn't mean to cry. It was more silent and breath holding, the tears falling uncontrollably down her cheeks. She felt really pathetic for crying, especially over something that was avoidable. She had wanted him to kiss her despite pulling away.
Em swiftly moved to hug her but Nami flinched. "I'm fine, please don't."
She could only frown at that. The hardness of her friend was difficult not to take too personally sometimes. Em opened her mouth to say something but Nami quickly stopped her by shaking her head.
"Please. Don't," Nami looked down and wiped her nose. "I'm fine."
Ignoring Nami's request, Em put a hand on her arm. "You don't have to pretend with me."
Despite the way her chest ached, she convinced herself she was more than okay. But that only lasted a little while. When Em had left her alone in her room, all she could do was lay on her bed and cry. The realisation of whatever they had become settled in her chest and the pain was physical. She could still smell him from her sheets. It frustrated her that she let things happen the way they did, almost confused by her own actions. She asked herself, what else would she have wanted?
Nami was aware Em was tiptoeing around her since then. Usually, when they'd go out, she tried to drag Nami with her, but that hasn't been happening of late. Considering Tamo's friendship with Sebastian, no doubt he'd be out with them too. She tried not to be phased that Em wouldn't tell her things, even if it hurt her.
As she was by the balcony, drinking a glass of red wine, Em came out to sit with her. She had a cigarette between her lips as she flicked her lighter a couple of times until it lit. Nami looked at the embers briefly and couldn't find it in her to care anymore. Em seemed casual about it.
"So you've heard," Em said.
"Heard what?"
She exhaled a puff of smoke away from Nami, waving her hand to disperse the cloud quicker. "About Sebastian."
Nami raised her brow in a nonchalant way, trying to remain detached about him. "I'm not sure what you're referring to."
"Oh, God," Em's face twisted like she could taste the bitter tobacco in her mouth. "That he's with someone new."
Nami nodded as her face reacted blankly, confirming the rumours. "I'm surprised he didn't crawl back to his ex."
Em laughed as she flicked her cigarette, "Shreya's a nice girl but not nice enough to take him back that easily. After all, she knew about the two of you."
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Once You Were My Friend
العاطفيةNami and Sebastian both grew up in the same small town in New Jersey, sharing the familiar migrant experience as children and complex relationships with their fathers. Since losing contact after Senior Year, life continued to keep them apart, until...
