Once You Were My Friend

June 2022 (Two Months Later)

Sebastian was sleeping on his stomach as his arms hugged the pillow. Nami liked watching him like that. She'd smile and feel like the world made sense somehow. Nami held onto the idea that being with him would fix things; the mess in her life or even finding herself redeemable - that someone like him chose to be with someone like her. But it didn't stop the occasional doubts that these moments could be fleeting and simply end, occasionally anxious about the future. Now that they were together, she couldn't see life apart again. Nami then ran her fingers through his hair, kissed the side of his face and went back to sleep.

          They have been spending time with each other in that way. Dinners after work and staying over at each other's houses. Sebastian would sleep at Nami's house on most weekends as Em would be with Tamo; unintentional with the fact their rekindled relationship was something concealed. Simply, it flowed like a fallen leaf on a river bed, letting the ripples take its natural path. It was like they were able to catch each other in unspoken moments of synchronised thoughts.

          Only after a month, Em started to pick up on something. She wasn't surprised they'd been together although in her very abrasive way, when she'd seen Nami lean into Sebastian's touch subtly, she said, "you two have been spending an awful lot of time together."

          It was more of a statement like Nami had no choice but to admit it than to brush it off. Maybe Em was tired of Nami dodging her questions too. A couple of days after Karl blew up in Nami's face, Em continued to check in on Nami but Nami was very reserved about it. Em even went to great lengths to get the band to never work with Karl again which they all agreed to do. In truth, Nami didn't know how to respond: she had broken up with someone she was seeing then slept with Sebastian the next day. She couldn't process it herself. It was enough that Sebastian had wanted her all along; that in itself was validation and enough to keep things close to her chest. Nami didn't see anything wrong with thinking that way but she could understand why Em may disagree. Em believed in slowing down and letting things take its time especially about things regarding the self.

          Nami looked to Sebastian whose hand never left her touch. She expected him to pull away or dismiss Em's suspicions but he continued to keep his hand on Nami's back as she started to feel rigid, hoping that it'd help her feel at ease. He didn't mind people knowing they were back together in a way he didn't care if they did or not. He was particular about what others thought about him, mostly from people he respected. Anything else, he was able to block out the noise.

          "Yeah," said Nami, unable to think about other ways of adding to Em's brash observation. Nami scratched the back of her neck.

          "Well?" Em pressed on but very endearingly.

          Nami laughed nervously. She scanned the table, trying to find something to fiddle with between her fingers. There was an instinct to reach for Sebastian's hand, instead she fought against it and started to play with the ends of her hair, only briefly.

          "Er, yeah. We're," she looked to Sebastian as if looking for his approval. Sebastian continued to keep his hand on her back as he smiled at her and tilted his head a bit. Nami couldn't interpret his gestures at the moment. She then looked back at Em's suspicious glare, suddenly feeling uncertain or even worried she'd say the wrong thing.

          "Sure. We're dating. I guess," Nami answered.

          "Which is it?" Em pressed on.

          Nami moved her eyes back to Sebastian hoping he'd answer or elaborate to which he did. "Yeah, we're dating." He was confident about it in a casual manner. He picked up his coffee cup and took a sip of it. He didn't seem worried at all which helped Nami realise it wasn't a big deal.