Once You Were My Friend

October 2021, Dinner

After picking up some cheap white wine, Nami found herself standing in front of the apartment doors to Sebastian's house. The sun had set then and the chill of fall grazed her nose as she sniffled. Pressing the intercom, she checked her phone again, making sure she had the right address. It wasn't long until the buzz of the door notified she could open it. He lived on the third floor. It was quaint, and a little rustic. The stairwell matched her coat.

When she made it to his floor, the door was slightly ajar. She pushed the door open calling out to him, and he poked his head out of the kitchen. His brown fluffy hair looked relaxed compared to his cooperate clad earlier. "Hey," he said, companied with a soft smile that wrinkled the corners of his eyes. She returned the smile, little flutters in her stomach but the way they left things at lunch still sat unwell with her.

She moved through the foyer, making her way to the dining room. After placing the wine on the table, she took off her coat and looked around the cozy apartment. What caught her eye was a knitted blanket that rested on top of the dark leather couch. "You still have this?" Immediately, after hanging her coat on the back of a chair, she went to pick it up and admired the hand knitted maroon throw. He closed the oven door and moved to where she was, "yeah. Can't seem to part with it." He liked that she brought it close to her chest. It reminded him of the time she had first held it. They were in his mother's living room on a weekend, opening his birthday present Nami's mother had knitted for him.

As she put the blanket back onto the couch, she caught him admiring her, feeling shy under his gaze. "It's still surprisingly soft."

Nodding, he sat on the edge of the dining table. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Cool," her voice wavered in a way she didn't like. It happened when she was nervous. She cleared her throat, "And what are you feeding me?"

He turned to look behind him for a second and then back at her, "chicken. Lemon chicken. It's just finishing in the oven."

"Alright. Chicken Lemon Chicken. Sounds delicious."

He chuckled, "I won't lie, it is my first time trying this recipe."

"Lucky me," she said, making her way to the dining table, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. She was looking up at him and he held out a palm which she held onto. There was something about the way she looked that made him want to kiss her. Perhaps it was the flush in her cheeks and the way her hair was tied loosely, unguarded in his home. Mostly because he felt bad for leaving things the way they did at lunch. There was a need to make her feel better. And so he brought their hands close to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

Dinner was quiet besides the sound of utensils against the plates. They sat diagonally of each other, him on the right side of her. Apart from the comfortable silences and exchanging looks, she learnt he had studied to become a lawyer but was now working as a data analyst. She found herself frowning a little and asked him, "why didn't you pursue to be an actor? That was your dream." He shook his head and laughed it off, saying it was nonsense.

"You wanted to be a writer and now you're a graphic designer."

"Touché," she puckered.  

They often talked about making a film together, Nami being the writer and Sebastian her lead. But they were fifteen then, naïve and green. A sombre realisation that they both hadn't followed their dream careers. 

He said to her, "you're drinking tonight?" After pouring her second glass. She rolled her eyes at that. Then he said, "I only asked because I noticed you didn't drink that time. At Tamo's house."

The wine cooled her tongue, it was sickly sweet and flavourless. "I do stupid things when I'm drunk," she said. There was a smize in his eyes when she said that and he scorned in response. "Hm," he mumbled. "Wouldn't take you as someone who does stupid things."