Once You Were My Friend

End of April

On a typically rainy night in the end of April, Nami sat in the car with Sebastian. While she was embarrassed at her own vulnerability, Sebastian remained quiet as she wiped away at her damp cheeks. The rain drummed against the car and he would occasionally flick the wiper indicator to clear the rain that blurred the streetlights in front of them. Though, it was mostly his failed attempt to break the silence that continued to pass. They had been sitting in the car for over ten minutes now. 

          Nami had her head leaning against the window, watching as her breaths would create a small patch of fog each time she exhaled. She sat as if she tried to be further away from him, not because she was afraid or disgusted. Mostly because she hated the way he'd seen her. She would remember how the car distinctly smelt like lavender from the air freshener that hung beneath the rear-view mirror and the way her jacket was simultaneously damp and crisp.

          Sebastian glanced over at her and only saw the silhouette of her figure. The way she had coiled up in the seat made her appear smaller than she was. Nami seemed far away despite being at arm's length like she was mentally somewhere else. At that moment, all he could think of was finding ways to make her feel better. But he didn't know how. The first thing to come to mind was to bring her close; to touch her or hold her. The only thing stopping him was not knowing how she would respond to that kind of closeness, despite having done so before. Sebastian thought he was incapable of feeling this way for her since dating other people, but with Nami, nothing was certain.

          "Thank you for taking me home," Nami broke the silence between them and the rain. Her congested nose was paired with a gentle voice. She then sat upright while her eyes remained firm on her lap, the will to look at him not quite there yet. "I'm sorry about all of that. I'm actually very embarrassed."

          Sebastian found it hard to say anything at the moment. He frowned as he shook his head. His hand rested firmly on his upper lip, trying to not make obvious of his displeasure. After a few long seconds, he said, "you don't need to be sorry about any of it or embarrassed." He looked at her again to see her hands were tucked firmly away from his reach.

          The entire drive to her place from Windowsill's show was silent. Both of them were replaying the events that had transpired in the last couple of hours. Sebastian gripped the steering wheel, reminded of the way Nami was treated by Karl. He could never understand why she'd let anyone treat her like that. Then he thought, maybe he was more of the same.

          "Hm," she said in response. "Would you come inside? I don't think I want to be alone at the moment."

          When Sebastian looked at her, she was already looking at him.

•

Earlier in the evening, at the bottom of the stairs in tungsten light, between the corridors of the greenroom, stood Nami and Sebastian opposite each other. Their conversation continuously getting interrupted by people passing by them to enter and exit through the back doors of the venue Windowsill were performing in. They were opening for a bigger indie band in the infamous Bowery Ballroom in the Lower East side. All of their friends were invited, Karl included which Nami had expected. She was also looking forward seeing Sebastian again as they had recently exchanged in a series of text messages:

Sebastian: Hey stranger, I hope you're coming to the show tonight. It would be good to see you.

          To which she replied after a few minutes:

Nami: I'll be there.

Sebastian: Good. I'll be wearing a halo. You can't miss it.