Once You Were My Friend

May 2023 (One Week Later)

She thought about wearing the sweater he used to own as if to remind him they used to be close like she owned a part of him and now he can't have her, to have him picture her naked after he had sex with her and worn the sweater after. Aware of these aggressive thoughts, she decided against it. She didn't enjoy having these impetuous hyper fixations of making him feel terrible. It made her feel sadistic and only confirmed the reasons they weren't suited for each other. They were meeting for dinner before she was to fly back to Amsterdam. Her contract had gotten extended for another six months. She was looking at her reflection in the mirror and traced over the skin under her eye. She hadn't been sleeping well. Sleeping in the house didn't feel the same as it used to. Taking off the sweater, she then tossed it carelessly onto her bed as it continued to taunt her thoughts. She gave it a last look and slipped on an oversized jacket that hung behind the door then left the room.

          The house was in preparation for new tenants and almost all of Em's things were gone. She moved in with Tamo to save up for the wedding and living with her fiancé wasn't too bad of an idea either. Nami had packed up her belongings to Jersey and everything else stayed behind. Except for this sweater. It seemed to follow her everywhere she went. The house was bare of the things that made it hers. The fridge was clean of magnets and notes, and pictures, devoid of personalised touches accumulated over the years. It was now a place waiting to be filled with new people and new memories. It didn't feel like home anymore. She would look down the hallway and see the corner of the kitchen and remember that was the place Sebastian kissed her for the first time. But it didn't feel like something special anymore, just a passing thought. After tonight, her mother will be coming to pick her up in the morning and take her to the airport. It felt like an ordinary thing to do now.

          Sebastian was already there, sitting by the window as his eyes were looking over the menu wearing a dark striped shirt. They had always talked about trying this place when they were together but never had the chance to. Now they were having dinner at this place as friends. Little Poland was only a walk away from Nami's place. He looked up at the right moment and Nami waved her hand at him. He sat up from the table to hug her and she returned the gesture with restraint. "Did I keep you waiting?" She asked as she sat down. "No, I just got here myself," he said.

          "Anything catching your eye?" She was looking through the menu placard, overwhelmed by the many choices. The restaurant itself had a very homely feel to it. Nami thought about the least romantic places to have dinner as well. This seemed to fit the description. The place was littered with elderly couples and friends, and if she could guess, regulars who frequented here.

          "We have to try their pierogi, of course," he said.

          "Yes," she said. "Pierogi."

          He offered her a smile and she looked up from the menu and awkwardly smiled back. He wanted to have dinner with her after he found out she was leaving so soon. She wouldn't tell him her decision to leave was a reaction to events that continued to unfold. She ignorantly held on to the expectation they'd pick up where they left off, never once crossing her mind he would be with someone else after her. She was still processing that. Maybe their past relationship with each other wasn't as meaningful as she thought it was. Did it mean she should see other people too? That wasn't something she was necessarily looking forward to doing. Her person was right in front of her, but their time has passed together. The idea of meeting new people for the purpose of something romantic was exhausting. What were they supposed to talk about as friends? She found herself overthinking about these things as she fidgeted with the silverware on the table.

          "Should we get their combination platter to share?"

          "Yes ma'am," he said. "The tuna salad looks good too."