Fading - Lando Norris

Fuck it I love you

-You need a haircut.- I tell lando. We were watching TV while he was lying with his head on my chest so that I could play with his hair.

-No I dont.

-Lando a little longer and it will cover your eyes. You know I adore your curls but they have to be bothering you.

-I dont have time to go to the hairdresser.

-Then I will cut it.- he raised his head with wide eyes.

-Do you want me to remind you how Carlos ended up the last time you had a pair of scissors in your hand?- true, but that was like three years ago.

-I'll be careful I promise.- I say running my fingers through his hair.

-Fine- he said and I smile widely at this- But if you mess it up, I have to cut your hair too.

We headed to the bathroom. I wet Lando's hair and sat him down in front of the mirror so he could see himself.

-You don't know the trust I'm putting in you right now- he said nervously looking at the scissors in my hand.

-I know babe- I say and lower down to give him a light kiss to the cheek- I will do fine I saw a tik tok.

-That does not reassure...- he turned to see me but I carefuly took his head making him look to the front again.

-Okay now shut up and dont move or the scissors will slip.- I have never seen him so still in my life.

I took a first lock of hair and carefully cut a piece. I repeat the process strand by strand making sure I am cutting it evenly.

-You're cute when you're concentrated- he said while looking at me through the mirror as I try to supress a smile.

-Don't distract me, I'm already finishing.

-Sorry.

I finished with the last strand and stepped back to admire my work. At least it's not uneven like Carlos's.

-What do you think?

I give him a small mirror and I see how he tries to look at himself from all angles.  I'm bitting my lip nervously waiting for his answer until I see a smile on his face.

-Do you like it?- I ask worried

-I love it- he said while leaning to leave a quick kiss to my lips- Since when have you gotten this good? Do you have a second job or something?

I shake my head at his response And I send him to take a shower to clean the hairs away. He spend the rest of the day stealing glances at his new haircut everytime he could. Making me also take some photos of him so he could show Carlos.

The next circuit is Monza. Lando was nervous, it was a track that brought good memories to the team and he didn't want to disappoint them. But it is also a home circuit for Ferrari so a good fight was assured.

We had to prepare everything to leave tomorrow for Italy. I hadn't been able to sleep at all today, Lucas hasn't stopped crying all night and every time he got him to do it he didn't take more than five minutes to start again.

I was making dinner while Lando finished packing. I was trying to get dinner out of the oven when Lucas started crying again. I got distracted and accidentally burned myself on the oven, causing the dinner to fall on the floor, breaking the glass container.

-Shit- I close the oven and try to pick up the broken glass but cut myself doing so-what is wrong with you Luna.- I mutter to myself.

-Are you okay?- Lando said running into the kitchen.

-Yes..I...Lucas is crying.- I went to Lucas nursery but Lando stops me in the door.

-Moon you're bleeding.- he says taking my hand.

-It's nothing- I brush it off going for the crib taking Lucas in my arms- Hey baby, are you hungry?

-I just fed him.- he says pointing to the empty bottle.

-Then why cant he stop crying Lando?- I say desperate.

-Let me take him.- he takes him from my arms and I press the back of my hands to my eyes trying to get a clear mind.

-And now we don't have dinner.

-It's okay Moon.- he said reaching for me but I shake my head getting out of the nursery.

-No Lando it's not okay!-I look around the room and feel like the walls are getting closer - I...I need to go.

-Go where?

-Anywhere Lando! i need to get out of here.

I head towards the door. I feel like I can't breathe here. Just as I reach for the doorknob Lando says something that stops me inmediately.

-Luna if you put a foot out of this house, we're over.- I know what he's trying to do, I love him for trying but the tightness on my chest just keeps getting worse. A tear falls down my cheek.

I squeeze the cold metal in my hand. I look up trying to catch a breath.

-Dont do this to me Lando.- I say with a shaky voice. Lucas has finally stopped crying so the only thing I can hear is my heart pounding in my ears.

-Moon, we've talked about this- he gets closer to me resting a hand on my back-You cant keep on running away.

-I'm trying Lan.- my knuckles had turned white from the force with whick I was taking the knob.

-I know you're trying. Come on, get here.

I let go of the knob with trembling hands and squeeze my eyes shut tight. I feel how Lando passes one of his arms over my shoulders. I turn around and wrap my arms around his waist, hiding my head in his neck. Trying not to squeeze Lucas.

- I'm exhausted Lando- I cry to him- I havent sleep all night. He wouldn't stop crying and no matter how hard I tried to calm him down, he couldn't. I've really tried everything Lando I feel like a terrible mother. And on top of that I've ruined the dinner I've been cooking for the past hour because I cant even take something out of the oven.

-Baby you're not a bad mother, on the contrary, you're doing amazing- he says giving a kiss to he side of my head- And why didnt you wake me?

-You need to rest , you cant race tired.

-You also need the rest. We are a team Luna, we're in this together- he reminds me- Promise me you will wake me if he cant stop crying.

-Okay, I promise.

Lucas brings one of his little hands closer to my face trying to remove from my cheek one of the tears that had fallen down. This caused a wet laugh to escape from my lips.

-You don't want to see your Mama cry, do you Lucas?-Lando said which produced an indecipherable babble from the baby-Thats right, I hate when she does too.

-I'm sorry- I say drying the face with the sleeve of my hoodie.

-Dont be, I'm proud of you- he passed me Lucas and cupped my fave between his hands- Now go rest while I order some dinner and then we all three will go to sleep early.

I nod resting my forehead in his.

-You're the one for me you know?- I wisper with my eyes closed.

-I'm glad, 'cause I live for our love my Moon