𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 | Your stories with my words

8. My hubby likes it raw

Been to UK for a few times because my dad works there and I along with my other family members lived in Philippines. 

Few months ago my dad called me and suddenly he asked, "Do you have any boyfriend?" 

As a typical asian how could I say yes? so I had to lie, "No dad."

"Okay so the thing is I showed you picture to one of my friends and he really liked you for his son. Though they are not Philippians but I know you'll be happy with them." Dad explained.

Sounds weird isn't it? I declined this offer from my dad but soon did I realize that it was not an offer but an announcement. He did not listen to me and without my consents my engagement was decided. 

I flew back to UK and saw that the guy they were talking about, named Andrew is also not interested in getting married with me. I talked to him alone and asked him to deny but little did I know if he could have the power he should've denied earlier. So now, basically, 2 strangers were forced to get married. 

After the wedding, I moved to UK permanently and my dad would visit me everyday. Things between me and Andrew were not that good nor bad. We would mind our own business in the house and even sleep in different directions on the bed. It felt as if we are forced to live together and that's so true! 

I knew my family forced me to marry because my in-laws were kind and rich. That's the only reason. But Andrew... never treated me like a wife neither I treated him like a husband because I already had a bf whom I liked dearly.

Once I decided to break the silence and accept my fate. I talked to him about the same but he was uneasy about our marriage. He right away told me that he will divorce me with alimony of some thousand dollars. Honestly the deal was attractive so I accepted it. But at least till then we could pretend to be couple.

I did all the hard works to convince him to pretend and he agreed. So we started to go to the parties together, we would talk with our relatives and have dinner together. Eventually we would share interesting things with each others in the end of the day. 

But one day I asked him why he didn't want to get married. He told me he wanted to be free and independent. After marriage he thinks the relationship and pressure takes over and which doesn't allow that person to be free and or joyful. Though I made him think about how he feels now, even if we are married he can do anything and all he realized that it was so bad. 

He asked me the same question and I told him, "I had boyfriend and I wanted to marry him but dad met you and things turned out like this."

He asked me several questions like why I didn't run away or argued with my family but I had only one answer, "I can't do things that will hurt my family."

"But your family can hurt you? Standing for yourself means hurting your family?" He asked and I had no answer. 

He ended up having a deep conversation about feelings and emotions and within a blink of an eye we came too close and ended up kissing each others. 

After the kiss the heat in that moment stayed. We could feel we needed it more but we retrained ourselves and  couldn't sleep that night. 

For 2 days I guess, there was awkwardness between us but on the 3rd day I again broke the silence and told him whatever happened was normal. These things happens the between married couples. 

He stopped doing whatever he was doing after listening to me and then ran towards me. I was clueless.

He grabbed me tight and said, "Ok". Yeah just a OK and then he kissed me passionately. 

That day, that kiss shaken me up from my toe to head. I could feel he was starving for this. 

In the early morning we had a strong kiss and he even approached for more. I had to push him and remind him of his office. 

When he got back things got normal between us and he seemed to be in a good mood. After the dinner we even cuddled. I know I was doing it wrong, I missed my boyfriend and my body needed this love. 

In the mid night we ended up having a moment but when I felt no protection was there I tried to stop him. "You can take pills." He mumbled and forced himself onto me.

Though it felt good but I was scared of being pregnant. I asked him to not to do such things again but he said, "I like it raw"

"Raw?" I said out of fear because he was wild yesterday. 

He hugged me and said, "I'll be gentle from now on." 

I could feel him liking me but I don't know if its a love or physical attraction. Since that's what married couple do too I couldn't object much but from then on he started doing it raw. Honestly I had never done it raw like this but we enjoyed it.

Though the thing which puts me in dilemma is , are we still on the terms of getting divorce after 6 months? or are we going to continue this? I have already told my boyfriend that I will be coming for him after 1 year of my marriage. What should I do? I enjoy my husband but I like my boyfriend more.