Not That Interested

Chapter 34: The One With The Raincheck

"If you're sad, add more lipstick and attack."- Coco Chanel

It took barely a couple of weeks for us to put together a small intimate Nikah ceremony for my brother. Adiba insisted on a very simple "White wedding" theme, which was very different from the Big-Fat-Red affair Pakistani weddings usually are. We chose a nearby community hall for the reception while the actual Nikah was performed at a mosque.

I was so busy with all the details of wedding preparations that I hardly had time to contemplate the lack of a "Double Wedding" this time. Occasionally, I'd get pangs of despair, but I quelled them. I was done being miserable over something which was obviously never meant for me. Maybe God saved me from a troubled marriage.

Initially, whenever I reflected back to THAT night; I could remember little beyond my own anguish over Areeb's betrayal. As time passed, I was able to recall the incident with a more critically detached sentiment. I still couldn't believe my EX-best friend was capable of something like this. He wasn't a stellar human being (Duh), but drugs and women were never part of his equation. Perhaps I never knew him as well as I thought I did, but Ali and Adiba couldn't fathom his actions as well. He had said some things about his being forced by "Life" to indulge in drugs. I refused to make excuses for him, but I was sure there was more to his story than he let on.

Try as I might, I couldn't hate him. I didn't love him anymore, not like I used to, and I could certainly go through my whole life without wanting to see his face; but I couldn't hate him with my full heart either. We had our separate lives now, but in a deep, obscure corner of my mind, I wished he'd sort out his shit, if only for his parents' sake. I think it was best that Areeb and I were never really head over heels in passionate love with each other. Whatever affections we had were purely based on our life-long friendship. I think it would have hurt infinitely more if either of us were that deeply vested in our relationship.

The morning of Ali's rain-check wedding was astoundingly lovely, weather-wise. Karachi's weather revolves around clammy hot, and mildly hot during this time of the year, but today it decided to be extremely tolerable. There's a light wind, and barely any sun at all. I find myself eagerly anticipating the event. I grab Simba and twirl him around my room for no reason at all. His hisses, and mews back in protest. When I drop him in his litter box, he totters drunkenly around it, dizzy from my spinning. I laugh out loud at the funny sight. It seems like ages since I laughed so freely at anything. It feels liberating!

As afternoon approached, I dressed quickly in my fancy blue dress.This particular dress was supposed to be part of the wedding "Wardrobe" gift my Mom designed for me. I try not to think too much about it though. I adored the color at first sight, it was an electric blue flowy silk dress that ended a couple of inches above my ankles, blue silk pants underneath, and a shimmery dupatta around my neck, completed the look. The silk changed colors whenever I moved, somewhere between blue, indigo, and emerald. I straightened my curls for a sleeker look, and went pretty crazy with the makeup. My eyes were dramatically highlighted with dark eye-shadow. The blue-green color of my eyes seemed to reflect back the dress, and seemed even brighter than usual. My lipstick was a matte burgundy shade, which my Mom would most definitely raise an argument over, but I was armed with excuses. It was my brother's wedding after all! that too, to my best friend. I had to dress for two different celebrations now! So there!

It turns out, Mom was so harried over arranging everything for Adiba and Ali (after the Rukhsati-the bride's departure from her home, to ours) that she hardly payed me any attention at all. Ali was so adorably nervous, it took a huge amount of self-restraint to not make a crack about it. I found him absently petting Simba, as he tapped his foot against the floor. I smiled inwardly; cat allergy, my ass!