Not That Interested

Chapter 51: The One With The Kiss

"Love her, but leave her wild."--Atticus

"Check it out Min. THIS is why Pakistani men are ranked third sexiest in the world....we could have gotten to the top baby." Adiba sleepily angles her iPad to display a snoring Ali in bed next to her. To say that he looked hideously unattractive would be an understatement. This is something I share with my sibling; we are both pretty ugly sleepers. He snores with his mouth open comically, and I get cursed hair, drool, and occasional sleep-talking episodes.

I laughed at her idea. Pakistani men have recently been ranked third sexiest in the world, by some dating website. This was a cause for much good humored ribbing on our social media.

The time difference was pretty awkward for Skype sessions, but we always managed to catch up on a daily basis. She relayed gossip about my old workplace; apparently, Ghauri the stapler eater had been promoted to Senior VP. I hesitantly asked after Areeb; almost fearful to find out his condition. Adiba's account was mildly reassuring. He was slowly regaining use of his fingers, in-spite of slow progress. His health was still precarious, and it probably always will be. Intense drug use had rendered his immune system extremely susceptible to infections. He could die tomorrow, or he could live disabled for the next ten-twenty years. The waste of vitality saddened me greatly.

"So, did you tell Shehzer about your bad-assery yet?" Adiba yawns.

"I'm so confused Adibaaaa!!...should I tell him?" I bite my lip in worry. These things just boggled me. What to tell him? What not to tell him? I don't want him hurt or needlessly annoyed about the lies Saleena was spreading.

"I think he deserves to know what his ex is up to. Maybe he can call her out on it. Who knows, she might just come to her senses." She suggests.
Personally, I am skeptical about it. I think I handled her pretty well, and I don't want Shehzer talking to her, even for a confrontation's sake. Also, I had a feeling there's little we can do to stop her if she is bent on creating issues. The most I can do, is make sure our relationship at home isn't affected by all her crap. We're still learning the ropes of being together, we're still getting to know each other. Saleena is like an unwanted pest at this point.

I try changing the topic, "Where's my baby? I haven't seen him for two whole weeks!" I miss Simba intensely.

Adiba coughs nervously before saying, "Oh, Simba? Er... Yeah, he is.actually asleep in your Mom's room. He meows a lot if he is alone...."

I frown at this info. My parents aren't exactly Simba fans, and they have made it very clear.
Adiba successfully distracts me with her next question.

"So. You two sleeping alright?" Adiba winked at me. I grimaced inwardly, regretting that I had ever mentioned our lack of intimacy to my sister. I shrugged noncommittally. She is so sleepy, she simply nods and keeps on rambling, "When you told me about your wedding night, I was like, genuinely worried. I mean, he has to be gay, or have medical issues, if he shows no interest in you, if you're catching my drift..."

This just got me all sorts of bothered. I was so agitated and preoccupied, I made up some excuse about unpacking, before hanging up on her sooner than usual. It worked, because I actually am in the process of unpacking our belongings. We have finally moved to our first official place together. I'm super excited about the redecoration possibilities in this amazing space. Shehzer generously gave me full reign over his Platinum American Express card. I had vowed (or been lectured by my Ma and Dad) not to bankrupt the poor guy.

After hanging up on her, I spent the whole day mulling over Adiba's insane ideas. My husband isn't uninterested in me...he definitely wants me. I keep reassuring myself, reminding myself of all the times he was passionate, and caring....and Shehzer; however, doubts and insecurities that always hover over me, threaten to overwhelm the good bits. In the past, I narrowly escaped, a decidedly un-interested partner, so even the remotest possibility of a repeat situation chills me to the bone.
Shehzer is an enigma for me right now, because I have no idea what he wants from me. He is like a Rubik's cube, infuriatingly cryptic about his own needs and desires. I want an open book, because I'm too impatient to solve him.