Pressured Under Love

chapter fifteen

Eliana's POV:

Is he serious?
He must be lying. All this... he described me, didn't he?
What's so bad about it?
I had to swallow hard and felt my eyes burning all of a sudden, this pain on my chest was getting bigger.
What is this?
"I have to go home." was the only thing I could say and stormed out of his house without looking him in the eyes.
Breathing suddenly became difficult and after a few minutes my vision became blurry.
In the car I held the steering wheel with both of my hands, put my forehead on it and sobbed loudly as the tears flowed down my cheeks.
"I'm crying because of a jerk." I whispered to myself and shook my head in disappointment, driving away after I calmed down.
In my room, I completely broke down and even though I felt stupid doing it, I couldn't help but cry.
He's right, it's all fake, I said that too.
Then why do I feel such pain?
The thought that I'm crying and he doesn't even care makes me even more angry.
I should've said no from the beginning, I would rather have this hate than this pain.
Since this was too much for me, I finally tried to go to sleep and after an hour I managed to do so.

A new shitty day started for me and disappointed I put my hand on my face as I looked straight at my phone after waking up.
His apology didn't appear on the display, he didn't text me.
"Eliana, wake up! It's already way too late! Get up and make yourself something to eat." I heard my mother shout in the kitchen and I remembered that I don't even have to work today.
I ate a slice of toast with Nutella and tried to distract myself by watching something on TV until a report about FC Barcelona showed up.
Thereby I saw Pablo's face, which is why I switched directly to another program and exhaled strongly.
Christina texted me whether we should meet later, which I, of course, accepted and after an hour I made my way to her home.
"Hey... why are your eyes so swollen?" she greeted me with this concern and when she hugged me, I pulled myself together not to cry.
Christina noticed the tears in my eyes immediately, which is why she asked me in the room what happened, handing me a cup of hot chocolate.
"Is it about your boyfriend?"
I just nodded.
"Did you guys have a fight?"
"Christina you don't understand. This relationship we have is fake so he can protect his career."
"Okay, then what's the problem?" Her confusion made me even more upset and I frantically ran my fingers through my hair while she waited for an answer.
"Last night I was with him and Pedri, you know him. We were playing truth or dare and Pedri asked me what my type looked like. I don't know why but what I described fit Pablo perfectly. Then he asked Pablo the same question and he described me."
"It's good, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I thought so too. When we were alone I asked him if he meant me and he denied it so quickly. He said feelings don't exist with us and it's all fake. He's right, but that hurt me so much and I can't stop crying since yesterday." I sighed and hid my face because I didn't want her to see my tears.
"Eliana I'm being very honest with you now." She started to talk, putting her hand on my back.
"You are in love."

I didn't want to believe that I fell in love with a guy like him.
In such a guy who only cares about himself.  
Who doesn't return my so-called love.