his true self

24- answers

„Felix?", you asked breathlessly as you looked at the man in front of you, who was completely dressed in black, wearing a hood over his head. The outline of his gun on his hip clearly visible. Summed up, he looked like someone you would really not want to meet- in general, but even more under the given circumstances.

Still, you didn't know how to feel about his presence.

On one hand, he was your best friend, your shoulder to cry on and the one that wanted to protect you. The way you knew him, he would rather die himself than to hurt anyone of his close friends- including you as his bestie.

But still- you didn't know if he also believed that you were the spy- if we would react like Hyunjin did.

In general; what was he doing here?

Mikyeong told me Hyunjin called her himself and then she told him where to come, you thought, but she never mentioned anything about Felix.

Did Hyunjin take some of the members with him?!

But- why would he need members if he came to apologize to me?!

He'd only need his men when he wanted to get revenge and kill u-

To be honest, these thoughts were quite vague. But before you could think straight again, out of reflex, your hand went to your gun. Which didn't go unnoticed by Felix.

„You really think I'm here to hurt you?", he spoke up for the first time. And although it was dark outside, you could see the pain in his eyes- and on top of that, hear the pain in his voice. Which made you feel guilty immediately.

„I- No- But...", you sighed, trying to collect your thoughts, „See, it's not like I would believe you'd have any bad intentions, but since the incident I really don't know what to believe anymore"

He nodded, understanding, before he seemed to read your mind, „I'm here because I'm searching for Hyunjin. After him not coming out of his room since he found out the truth, he suddenly disappeared yesterday evening. Minho asked me to track him down"

„Minho?", you asked.

Felix shrugged his shoulders, „Mikyeong killed him, remember?"

„I fucking knew that you were the spy, try to be more careful next time. Oh wait what am I saying... there will be no next ti-"

You weren't able to hear the rest of his sentence, as you blacked out for a few seconds, feeling yourself loosing way to much blood.

His voice faded and your vision started to blur, when suddenly his face disappeared completely- right before you closed your eyes.

Seconds later, you could hear a dull noise before someone carefully turned you around and laid their hands on your wound.

„No, I just remember him attacking me. Then I blacked out... I didn't know she killed him", you answered, „so- Minho is the new leader?"

The male nodded again, before he looked down.

There were so many questions you wanted to ask him, you didn't even knew where to start. But at the same time- you were scared of the answers.

Your struggle disappeared when he spoke up again, „He was completely wasted when he found out. I was out on a mission for a day and came back when everything had already happened. When Seungmin told me about everything I first thought it was a bad joke. You know- Hyunjin wanting to kill you. As soon as I realized it wasn't it searched for Hyunjin. And I found him sitting outside of our um... cellar where we... interrogate... our targets. He was full of blood which I assume wasn't his but Jaemin's. He sat on the floor, eyes widened with tears in it, in shock and he sort of had problems breathing. I tried to talk to him but he was just sitting there before he left to go to his room", he said and looked into your eyes, „he didn't come out until he came here but I sometimes heard him throwing things through his room. So believe me. He regrets it"

„I know", you said, your voice breaking slightly by the new informations you just received, „I met him about an hour ago"

Felix frowned.

„What did he say"

„To be honest- he sounded like a psycho. Like I sincerely believe him he's sorry but he told me I should kill him and even handed me his gun"

„He did what?"

You shrugged your shoulders.

„What did you do?", he asked.

„I... kind of ran away", you say and looked down ashamed.

„Look at me", he said and continued to talk as soon as your eyes met his, „you know that it's ok, right? This boy's ass is overdramatic as fuck and on top he can't handle his emotions at all. Regarding that his reaction was quite normal. And you... yours was too. I didn't see what he did and based on the details I have I can't judge, but no one is expecting to forgive him"

There he was. The old Felix. Your best friend who always gave the best advises.

„I don't know what to do", you mumbled.

„What do you feel?"

„I mean he threatened me with a gun... and wanted to kill me. And no, I wouldn't have done the same and instead just would've talked it out. But I know that this is probably not how a gang member deals with it so I can assume that his reaction was quite normal. And I can also tell how sorry he is- seeing his state in the bar broke my heart, trust me. And I really just want to forgive him, but..."

„But?", Felix asked.

„I don't know what on earth he believed so he would want to kill me. Why did he think I'd do something like that? I mean I am his girlfriend who was just having a normal life. Wouldn't I be the last one to get suspected?! Does he really have so little trust in me?"

„Well you know... I honestly can't imagine either- but there must've been a plain good reason for him to believe that you were the spy"

„But what?!", you whined, when Felix eyes suddenly left yours, looking at something behind you.

„Well you know", he said, lowering his voice, „maybe you should ask him yourself"

And there was no need for you to turn around to know who was standing behind you.