My Dark Beloved - onc 2023 Ambassadors Pick-Longlisted

.17

The sky is blood.

The snow is falling in absolute confusion and I am standing in the same place I met Zillah last night but they aren't here. The golden tarp isn't here. The hooker's broken bones aren't here. I am not even sure I am here.

What is here is a pretty young streetwalker that could serve as a mild distraction. An ephemeral paramour to try and heal this ill. He is not like Zillah but he will do. For a moment or two.

"Looking for company?" he asks me with a bat of his lashes.

I'm looking for myself. I try to say.

"Are you lonely?" He walks to me.

Even with all the monsters in my head, I think, yes...yes, I am.

"Care for some affection?" His hands are on my arm. I hope he's washed them.

He smells of me killing him. "Can I take you home?"

The streetwalker smiles. His eyes are almonds and his accent if clearly foreign – quite possibly Japanese. "I'd love to go home with you."

No, you won't, I think but I surely don't tell him that. When he tries to hold my hand I cringe and jam them into my pockets. Stop with the corny affection, I want to scream.

The sky continues to get redder. By the time we've arrived he's told me his name is Herman Melville (fake), he's originally from Paris (fake), and he's in love with me (fake).

Damn, what a liar. But who am I to judge? We all do what we have to do in order to survive. He lies. I kill.

"Come inside. Take off your shoes. Leave your jacket on the coat hanger. We'll sit in the living room and have a drink before we, uh, ..." My words trail off.

The dancing twitch on his lips tells me he thinks I'm going to continue with a before we fuck. But it's actually a before I end your life.

"Have you ever done this before?" He stops to bring his hand to his mouth and giggles. "I do not know your name."

Have I done what before? Mislead someone? Fucked? Killed?

"Yes," I reply. "You can call me Zil...you can call me Elio."

"You have a beautiful name. A beautiful house."

I feel him breathing my villa in as if he needs it as oxygen in his lungs.

"Thanks," I say in a rather uninterested way and find myself leading him not to the living room but to Lux's room. Shit.

"Oh," he claps his hands in delight when he spots the aquarium taking up one-third of the room. "This is extraordinary. This is huge. Do you have fish? A shark?"

"I have a mermaid," I utter and then exhale a breath I'd been holding when I thought Lux was inside. But she's not in the aquarium. She's nowhere in the room. I chuckle. This is good. She must be taking one of her epic loooong baths in the hot tub because I notice a champagne flute on the table. She always has a glass of bubbly before tubbing. It's like a law to her. Must have bubbles in the tummy before entering a hot tub.

"Do you really?" he bats his lashes like he did when I first saw him. "Can I see?" He's making his way to the enclosure before I get a chance to tell him, No you poptart, you're not allowed to touch Lux's clean water.

He's up the stairs. He's gripping the edge and looking over. "I see no one."

I'm up after him. I'm his shadow and he is Peter Pan. My heart is gnawing at my insides.

"You have to look closer." My fingers trickle through his hair. My free hand is around his waist. I'm hard but it isn't because I want to pound him into the ground.

"Someone is ready," he giggles and I just want to say, Fuck you, Herman. But I don't.

I reach around for the buttons of his jeans and down they go. I'm not surprised he's not wearing anything under them. "Bend over," I grunt and his top half is dangling over the edge. His face is nearly kissing the smooth surface. He thinks I'm going to take him here but I grab his head and dunk it in the water.

He thrashes and tries to free himself but I've pinned him well and there's no escape. His hands paw at the glass but it's slippery. His hair feels like silk and spreads around his head.

There are some pathetic little sounds ebbing from every part of him.

I lift him and toss him in the water. I dive in right behind him (I'm his shadow, remember?). My arms are around his waist, pinning his to his side. He can't kick his feet because his jeans are around his ankles but he damn well tries. We go all the way down.

Herman from Paris who loves me is mine. His life is mine to do as I see fit.

When he stops moving I let him float back up.

I'm lying on the bottom of the aquarium watching him hover like a balloon. He is lovely. He is serene. Then he opens his mouth and a hundred minnows start swimming out. They circle his body and nip at his flesh.

I scream and push myself up. I bat the little fish away but they try to attack me. By the time I'm out of the water, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Looking back into the aquarium, I see the minnows are gone. There's nothing in the water but him. "Shiiiiit," I hiss under my breath. I need to get rid of him before Lux finds out. 

There's a shovel in the yard. I remember where it was from the last time I used it. The ground is harder this time of year but it's nothing I cannot handle. It's not like I haven't done this before. 

I look up before I begin. The sky is blood. 

Words: 991

Words till now: 18403