The Knight in Leather Armor

ch.42 The in between

It became harder and harder to keep my eyes open as the moments passed. I hated that I couldn’t go a day without worrying Harry. I hated that I caused him so much pain and confusion. I knew I was trouble for him, but he was trouble for me, too. And that’s why we couldn’t leave each other- no matter how much better it would probably be for our health and sanity.   

Harry’s warm, evenly-paced breath calmed to a state of serenity despite my emotional distress.

He kept a hand on my cheek, stroking me ever so gently with his thumb. While his other hand held my head into the contour of his neck and chest.

He whispered “it’s ok, baby, it’s ok,” and I kept nodding acceptingly, wishing it was just as fast and easy to really be ok again.

I felt Harry shift under me. He stood up and carried me in his arms for a while. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He walked with me in his arms for what seemed like a millennium. And I didn’t want that millennium to end.

I heard the click of the front door and Harry held it open with his foot as he carried me in.

“Harry?! What happened?” I heard Danny’s voice demand with more anger than fear.

“She fainted,” Harry half-lied. I didn’t even know what had happened. I was screaming and breathless and broken and anything but “ok.”

I fought my drooping eyelids from slipping into a dazing dream.

“I can take her,” Danny told Harry.

I felt Danny’s bulky arms reach for me. Harry’s curls bounced slightly as he shook his head.

“It’s ok, I can do it,” Harry insisted.

“Harry--”

“Danny.”

I felt Danny’s eyes watching my quietly whimpering face. He did or said something that allowed Harry to carry me to my bed.

Smooth covers and a warm hand gently lowered my under my covers. I opened my eyes slightly, but Harry kissed my eyelids, not wanting me to wake up.

“Harry--”

“You have to sleep, Angie” he told me in soft whisper. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it delicately.

I nodded and pulled the covers up to my neck. A pair of footsteps come into the room. Hard, domineering hands stroked my forehead slowly, attempting but failing to be gentle. It was Danny.

“Angie, why do you scare me like this?” he asked rhetorically. I could hear the pain in his harsh voice.

My eyes fluttered open and closed and I saw Danny on his knees, beside my bed, and Harry standing a few feet away.

“I’m sorry, Danny” I apologized quietly.

He shook his head.         

“Get some rest, Angie” he told me and I heard him get up.

He patted Harry’s back.

“Thank you, man. I really appreciate it” he told Harry.

I could almost taste the guilt that Harry swallowed.

He nodded at Danny and started to walk away, but Danny kept a hand on his shoulder.

“Could you watch her for a few hours? Take care of her until I come home from work?” he asked Harry.

I sucked in a breath.

Harry was quiet a moment, probably staring at Danny as if he had asked him to feed me his heart- which he would probably do if it was the only cure for a sickness I had.

Then he nodded slowly. I drifted to an unknown.

***

I found myself in between two worlds: a golden dream and  dark reality. The golden dream had me, Harry, and my father. 

Delicate petals the color of peach ice-cream drifted slowly to the ground. Grand oak trees with prickly branches cast long, lean shadows. Whispers from bees and butterflies wove through the meadow.

Harry kept his arm around my waist, holding my close to him- just as closely as I clung to him.

We were walking in the crystalline meadow. Slowly treading along the crisps grass as a moist dew settled over the fallen leaves.

In the distance, I saw my father was on his horse and he wore his grey suit of titanium.  

His helmet was off and his golden hair fluttered delicately in the wind. My daddy was a knight. He will always be my knight in shining armor.

But what about Harry?

I turned to face Harry and I saw that he wore his armor as well; his black leather jacket was buttoned to the top and he held his helmet under his arm. But instead of a horse, he had a midnight black motorcycle, the one that Tony and the rest of the boys had been working on.

He leaned comfortably against the motorcycle.

His dark curls hung over his forehead in messy wisps. The golden sun rays reflected off of his dark hair and black armor, making him glow like a man of nobility.

I looked down at the grass and held my scrunched my skirt slightly in my hand and started to bow before him. He tilted my chin up to face him- stopping me in mid bow- and shook his head softly.

“I love you” he told me.

I stared into his eyes.

Even here, in this beautiful fantasy world, I couldn’t say it back. I couldn’t say those three little words back.

Harry grew solemn and disappointed at my hesitation and he started to take off his armor furious, like something was eating him from the inside- out.

I stared in horror as blood dripped from under his armor- from his heart.

He threw the jacket to the ground, leaving himself exposed and unprotected as the blood of an imaginary wound trickled down his torso.

I reached a hand to his chest to try to stop the blood in any way that I could, but Harry refused me. He stopped me and I realized it was my fault he was bleeding; he had asked me to protect his heart and I failed him.  

He fell to his knees. I watched in horror as the blood made a ring of betrayal and crimson lies around him.

Suddenly, pearly-white clouds swirled in the light-blue sky.

There was a tiny opening in the middle and I saw a beautiful, majestic winged-woman swoop down. Her wings were a pure, glowing white, and her long, dark brown hair gently floated around her soft porcelain face.

She reached her soft, glowing hand out for my father and he took it.

It was my mother.

Father left the comfort of his horse and the firm field. He smiled warmly at my mother. She nodded. When their lips met, the clouds swirled around them, creating a golden aurora of sunlight. Then they were gone.

I tried to run to them, but my legs were stiff.

Only my arms worked. I reached my arms out and they felt unusually light and free. Looking down at them, I saw that they were replaced by long, papery-thin golden wings, like the ones on the monarch butterfly. I flapped my wings with a newfound excitement as I grew higher and higher up in the sky, almost to the center of the swirl that my mother had taken my father.

But then I stopped. I turned to Harry, who stood there in awe, but accepted defeat. If I flew away, what would happen to him? Who could save him?

I ran back into Harry’s arms and forced him to wear his armor again.

But he refused.

I kissed his chest- his heart- hoping I could stop the blood somehow. But it was useless. My lips dripped with his blood and tears trickled down my cheeks and fell to his chest.

I failed him. I failed him, I kept crying in my head.

Harry shook his head slower and slower. Then he lay there, motionless on the cold grass.