"So she's playing real life problems. It's not like we've never done that."
"Not at eight years old!"
"Oh, shit, Veronica killed Antonio."
~~~
The Umbrella Academy just wanted to rest, not wanting to come across the Sparrows. The strangest part was...
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"He's not in the bloody chimney! He's been Kugelblitzed!"
"And whose fault is that, huh?" Diego yelled, whipping around to face her. "You're the one that brought him here!"
Diana sat on the ground, watching the two argue.
"Congratulations. You're both mildly terrible parents." Five said, standing behind Diana. "Can we focus? Come on. How did this thing open before?"
"I don't know," Diego snapped. "It was already kinda open."
"Already kind open." Five mocked. "You know, Diego, you should have been an engineer."
"It's a lost opportunity." Diana taunted.
"I don't wanna hear anything from you." Diego snapped, pointing a finger at her.
Diana glared at him, making the shadows swirl the room.
"Why do you wanna go in there anyway? It's just sushi and death?"
"When we met future me, in the Commission bunker, I warned myself about Oblivion. Now, Pogo told me—"
"Wait, whoa, whoa! Pogo's alive?"
"Different Pogo, but yes. The monkey said Dad spent years training the Sparrows for some kind of super-secret mission into..."
Diana sat up a bit, focusing on what Five was saying.
"Oblivion?"
Five gave a sarcastic smile, clapping his hands. "So, I come back here and find that you two sentient STD's have actually been in there. Everything's leading to Oblivion. So we have to go in there."
"Hell no! Not happening."
"No way! We barely got out alive."
"Yeah? So what? This is about more then just you two."
"Says the guy with all his fingers." Diego snapped.
"You lost some of your fingers?"
Diego held up his hand, showing the white bandages. "I didn't get this by giving a mummy a hand job, all right? I went in there, and I lost my fingers to this thing with...with a knife and on a chain."
"Hey, look, Diego might be 90% moron and 10% pelvic thrusts, but he's right about Oblivion, okay? We're not just going to waltz back in there just because you say so."
"What's a hand job?" Diana asked.
Five covered his daughters mouth, and gave Diego a dirty look.
"Good. Because you're coming with us."
"Where to?"
"Sparrow Academy," Sloane said.
"The worlds ending, so I think it's time we put our petty bullshit aside and work together on this Kugelblitz."
