Shadows

I

Time seemed to hold its breath as the westering sun sunk nearer the horizon. All year long, I awaited this solitary moment. I held my breath and gripped the window sill. Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead against the glass pane. Suddenly, a yellow beam flashed and captured me in its glorious light. Transfixed, I soaked in the warmth of the final rays of spring equinox.

Everstow Hall sat precisely in the correct position to catch the spectacular occurrence. Every year, I wondered if the original builder had planned for the event or if its placement happened accidentally. Papa did not know the answer to my imponderable question, nor did Joel or Grayson. They did not hold the same fascination with the spring equinox as I did. Perhaps my romantic disposition spurred on my queries concerning the subject.

Papa was Sir Joel Everstow. From the Elizabethan age until the current reign of Queen Victoria, a Sir Joel presided over Everstow Hall. In many other families, names changed throughout the years. Estates occasionally passed to female heirs who married and took on their husbands' names. Surprisingly, this never occurred in our family, and the name passed through from generation to generation.

Eventually, my elder brother would inherit and his son after him. The family expected that the name would carry on. At the moment, Joel was away from home. The previous fall, he left us to attend Oxford University. It was also a family tradition. All the elder sons studied jurisprudence at the ancient university's law college.

I cannot say I missed Joel particularly. Although we studied together in the same schoolroom, he remained aloof. Papa treated him with a special reverence as the eldest, and Mr. Blanchard, the tutor, followed suit. Grayson and I trailed behind him in our studies.

Following Joel's departure, Mr. Blanchard focused entirely on Grayson while I continued to study beneath my governess's steady curriculum. We shared the schoolroom.

It irked me that my brother and I remained in the nursery. We should have dispelled with the sheltering upper rooms at seventeen and sixteen. Boys usually went away to school at eleven, and I should have attended finishing school at age fourteen. However, we remained at home under the tutoring of Mr. Blanchard and Miss Young, respectively.

Papa did not particularly pay attention to our educational requirements. The job should have fallen to Mama. However, she did not participate in our lives nor take much interest in her children. She remained apart from us in her own set of apartments.

Mama was an invalid. The doctors warned her against childbirth. A weak heart diagnosed during childhood left her drained following the slightest activity. As a result, medical professionals cautioned her to avoid certain strenuous behaviors, including marriage and bearing children. Her father dismissed their advice and insisted she conduct herself as any other young woman would.

Clarisse Grayson caught the eye of Joel Everstow quickly during her coming out ball. Papa courted her and proposed before the completion of the London season. They married without warning concerning her frail heart, and she immediately became pregnant with Joel. The strenuous nine months that followed took their toll on her health but did not deter the newly married couple. Grayson arrived promptly less than a year later, and I came shortly afterward. Mama retreated into her own chambers and never left them. Although she looked forward to our daily visits, she rarely inquired into our well-being or education.

Papa's interest extended as far as Joel's preparation to follow him as the next Lord of the Manor. Grayson studied theology since our father expected him to go into the church as second sons usually did in our family. My education transitioned from grammar and sums to learning how to become a young lady. Gray would follow Joel to Oxford in the autumn, and I expected to join other young ladies for a London season.