History Repeats Itself

Chapter 7 - 'Nothing Between Us'

He wasn't sure what to make of what just happened. He didn't feel drained like he thought he would. He just lost blood; shouldn't he be tired? But he wasn't. He felt charged. He wanted more. And yet, he didn't.

He glanced down at her, her head resting on his shoulder, her hair falling over her face. He hadn't exploded in his pants since he was fucking fourteen and watching some older woman undressing through his window across the street. It was the first time he had ever seen a naked woman. Sure, she was in her early twenties, but that meant shit to him.

When her body faced the window and he had his first eye full of tits, he got rock hard. He had licked his lips, wanting to play with them in ways he didn't understand. Then her hand ran over her body, squeezed her nipples, and he was done for. At that time, he didn't quite understand what happened. He wasn't ashamed, just confused.

In all that time, though, that was the one and only time he came like that. He was able to hold himself back. Solid control. But here, now, that, fuck she did bring it out of him, and they hadn't done anything! There was no foreplay, no touching. There was her sucking, him moaning, and then the feeling of her fucking pussy rubbing against him through their clothes. And when she was done, she still hadn't stopped, as if she was searching for her release or something. He thought he could have held himself back, that he had the power. But she pushed and he lost it.

"God damn," he finally muttered, making her lift her head. Her eyes locked with his and she slowly smiled.

"Should I apologize again?" She should, he knew. She egged him, there was no doubt. But no, she didn't need to. He should have been stronger.

"No."

"Really?" She glanced between them, and he felt his cheeks get hotter.

"Really. I know what you did, but I was just as powerless to stop it as you were." She lifted a brow, clearly not buying it. "I could have! I learned how to over the years." She shook her head and tried to pull back more but he wouldn't let her. "Does it always feel like that?"

"Does what always feel like that?" He wasn't sure if he even knew what he was asking about. The biting and feeding? Or the fucking pleasure that soared through him the moment her core touched his.

"Everything?" She licked her lips, the last of his blood moving into her mouth and she slowly shook her head.

"Xander, don't start asking questions like that. This isn't something you want. Sure, the moment is there and it's great, but this isn't you." When she shifted, he allowed it, following her in sitting up.

"You seem to know a lot about me for having just met me." She sighed as she stood, her hands on her hips.

"You think you're the first person I met who has thought that the moment was great? That you're the first one who's allowed me to feed?" He wasn't sure what the fuck was up with the pang in his chest, but he didn't like it. "You're not. I've lived far too long and have had far too many people in and out of my life like you. The idea is nice, but you can't commit to it. Not that you don't like it, but it's not you."

"Again, I like how you seem to know my mind before I even know it." He stood up as well, walking away from her. He needed to get out of his pants but after that, he sure wasn't going to do it in front of her. Finally, he turned to stare at her. "I know you used me to feed, but I don't think you asked me about using me for your release. To seek your pleasure."

"You're right, you didn't. But you were tense, and that doesn't bode well for anyone." She dropped her head, her hands fiddling together. "Still, I shouldn't have." Her head lifted and she stared at him. "Xander, there is something that called me to you, that wanted me to do more than just feed. It's the connection one tends to feel with a bite slave. It's not anything I've felt before. But even though it's there, you still aren't ready for that road. Honestly, I'm not sure you will ever be." She walked over to him, her head tilted back to where she could hold his stare. "Don't be mad at me for it, because you know, deep down, this isn't what you want."

"Why do you so firmly believe that? Just past experience or something?"

"I feel it coming off of you. The idea is awesome, and the spark is great. But you still just found out about us, and you have way more questions and far more concerns. Which is okay. Maybe, down the road, you might be more willing. But if you were okay with it all, you wouldn't haven't tensed up on me, first time or not." He opened his mouth to fight back, but she was right. His body felt the need, but he could also feel the high coming down, and that was speaking loud and clear.

"Now what?" he asked, because he felt cheap, used, worthless, and he sure fucking hated it. No one had made him feel like that, not even the bitches of exes he had, and he had some horrible women in his past.

"You go home, and you rest because there's going to be more crime for you to investigate."

"So that's it, whatever this is," he said, waving his hand in the air between them, "is done. There's nothing more?" He watched her, watched her reactions. He wasn't even sure what the hell he was asking. There was no "them", they weren't a couple. They weren't even friends. But nonetheless, she smiled at him.

"I'm not sure what more you're looking for Xander." He ran his hand through his hair because he didn't know either. "I do know that I'll see you around. This town isn't so big that we could both hide away. But Xander, I do need you to know something. I never used you. What happened felt good to me, it felt right. But don't forget, people don't stay with me. I can't get into relationships, not that I have or wanted to. Our world is lonely, but we have to learn to deal with that. I'm going to give you the old cliché, find someone else if that's what you're looking for."

"And what if that's not what I'm looking for?" He still had no damn clue why he was pushing, but he couldn't help it. Something inside him was driving him to push on this issue and hell if he could figure out why. Again, she said it, nothing more could come of it. And though he hadn't to admit it, she was right, he wasn't cut out to a bite slave. Not if that meant that he had to give himself up, and that's what it sounded like. Not his life, nor his job, but himself. He was to be open and ready for her when she needed or wanted him, and he had left his last girlfriend because that's how she was. Only out for her own pleasure, looking out for her own needs.

He hadn't hardened his heart to love yet, he wasn't that upset. But if he had to give it all to this woman, this vampire, before him, he would have nothing to give a potential lover anyways. And that he didn't like. He licked his lips as he nodded and she followed the movement, a smile tugging at her lips.

"You see what I mean? People who walk this road tend to lose a lot more than they think." She walked over to him and brushed her lips over his cheek. "Don't dwell on it. I thank you for everything you've done, not too many humans do it like that, but it really has to be a one-time deal."

"I got it, don't have to repeat it." She tilted her head as she lifted a brow. He grabbed his jacket he tossed and yanked it on. "I'll be seeing you around, Jade."

"I'm sure you will, Xander." She walked him to the door, opened it, and offered him a smile. But he stopped short at the man who was standing on the threshold, his fist poised to knock.

"Oh, sorry to bother you, Jade," the man said, looking between the two.

"You're fine, what is it?" The man said nothing more as he handed her a sheet of paper. Jade took it, closing the door on the man. "It's another scene," she told him, looking up at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but the ringing of his cell brought him up short.