lucent (adj); softly bright or radiant
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My brother's hand traces the cut on my right cheek for some minutes. I have no idea how a cut can be so interesting, but I won't judge a book by its cover.
He unexpectedly moves and places a he...
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My mind seems to want to be awake. It's hasn't shut off since I got here — to the solicitud of the room I was given. I tossed and turned and stared at the ceiling for hours with no luck. I can't sleep. Even though I'm aware I should because my sleep schedule is being messed up.
Is my mind alert because it's sensing danger? I do not know.
I just know that I'm becoming exhausted and want the world to stop for once.
It's five in the morning and the silence is becoming overbearing. I can't stand it. I need to do something; anything to stop this cycle of tossing on my bed and not finding any comfortable position to rest.
I've though about Ezekiel's comment for a while, and I can't seem to conclude if he meant it or if it was just something he said to make a good impression. But he does not seem like the type of guy who would do the second thing. Then again, I've only known him for a little bit over a week, despite him have known of my existence my whole freaking life.
I have gotten out of bed a few times for a couple of seconds. Trying to decide if it would be a good idea interrupting his sleep schedule because mine has been shit for over a week.
My final decision of those few times I got up, were to stay in bed and attempt to get to sleep on my own.
My plan has yet to be successful.
I watch my door surrounded by silence and darkness — since I turned off my lamp in case one of my brothers took notice of it and entered my room then. Now that would be an uncomfortable scenario I'm not putting myself in, if there's a chance of escaping it.
Would he mind if I presented myself on his door because I can't sleep? Veli surely did not care at all if I sneaked into her bedroom at five in the morning to sleep with her. But he isn't Veli, and I don't know what the outcome might be. It terrifies me. What if he thinks I'm annoying? That seems to always be the issue when meeting new people — although I've known Zeke for a little but more than a week.
I just feel like my room's walls are closing down on me; like there's not enough air for my lungs. As if I was being watched from all angles by ghosts, their invisibles stares burning holes throughout my body covered in a pink pajamas.
I need to sleep and stop thinking and thinking and thinking. I need my mind to shut off, to make my mind go blank for once — like every single time I met new peers each time I switched schools and would not say anything besides my name, due to the fact I could not think of any interesting fact to capture the attention of others.
