PRISON MOVIE

Are you intoxicated?

     This is the story of two American brothers, Lincoln and Michael Scofool, and how they ended up in prison.

     On vacation in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Lincoln was driving and Michael was the passenger.  Lincoln was a heard headed gambler who frequently got into trouble.  Michael was a successful entrepreneur, the owner of a popsicle stick manufacturing corporation. 

     After smoking an absurd amount of Marijuana, Lincoln unexpectedly became paranoid.  "Micheal" said Lincoln.  "I can't breathe, I need to pull over."  Lincoln pulled over the car and started to panic.  "Why do you smoke that stuff, Linc?" said his younger brother. 

     Lincoln opened a bottle of water, poured it over his face and gasped for air.  Then, he cleared his eyes and looked straight ahead, "I don't know if I can drive, I'm too high, now I'm so stoned I think I might be seeing two cops in the rear view mirror approaching us." 

     Michael answered "That's because there ARE two cops approaching the car."

     One of the police officers tapped on the driver's side window.  Lincoln was sweating heavily,  "What should I do?"  His brother answered "Roll down the window, dumbass, we don't have a choice."

     Lincoln rolled down the window of his beat up 1979 Dodge.  The police officer said to Lincoln "Sir, I need to see your license and registration.  After a pause, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"  The officer repeated, this time noticeably less patient "License and registration?"  The officer then repeated again very sternly "I need your license and registration."  Lincoln struggled to answer but cooperated, though clumsily. 

     The police officer sniffed the smoke coming from the car and said "Do I smell Marijuana?"  Then, the officer turned his head, started talking with the other officer, turned his head back at Lincoln and said "Don't go anywhere."

     Lincoln turned his head to Michael and said "What are we going to do, I'm as high as a kite, and the cops are going to find weed in the car!"

     Michael turned and looked at the back seat of the police car.  He tapped Lincoln on the arm and said "Linc!"  They saw that there was a man in the back seat who apparently had been arrested.  In handcuffs, he was continually banging his head against the car window.  Michael, normally quiet and conservative, jokingly said to his brother "That could be you someday, Linc."  His momentarily angry brother slapped him on the head "Shut up Michael!"

     The police officer again approached Lincoln and said "I would just like to ask you a question."  Lincoln nervously replied "Yea, sure."  The officer gave Lincoln a very cold stare and asked "Are you intoxicated?"  Lincoln replied "Yes... I mean NO, absolutely not."  Then the officer turned back for a minute and spoke with the other officer.

     Meanwhile, in the car Lincoln could not control his panic.  "I don't want to go to jail, man!"  Michael, always calm and logical, reassured Lincoln "Try to calm down."  Lincoln again panicked and said "Michael, were Americans and we're about to get thrown in jail in a foreign country!"  He then began to cry out loud.

     The officer again stared Lincoln in the eye and said "Welcome to Canada."  Now look, I'm going to ask you one more time... Are you intoxicated?"  Lincoln slowly looked at his brother Michael, turned his head making eye contact with the officer and said with a high pitch cowardly squeel "No."

     "Are you absolutely sure you are not intoxicated?" 

     "Yup" said Michael, stepping in for his terrified brother.

     The officer took a step back and reached for his pocket.  He handed Lincoln a bag of Cannabis candies, smiled, and said "Here, I think this will help."

     Lincoln read the label on the package.

Cannabis Candy
High potency THC

     The two police officers looked at each other and laughed.  "Dude, this is Canada, Marijuana is legal here."  The officers continued to laugh out loud and said "These guys actually thought we were going to arrest them for possession of weed, ha!"

     The man in custody sitting in the back of the police car was still erratically banging his head against the window.  One of the officers opened the door and said to him "Hey man, these two idiots actually thought they were going to jail for possession of Marijuana."  Still in handcuffs in the back seat, he held his head still, looked at the Scofool brothers and laughed out loud, "Ha!"

     Then, the two police officers and the man in handcuffs, in a trio laughing frenzy all exploded in laughter, "Hahaha hahaha!"

     The senior officer, struggling to hold back his laughs and giggles, said to Lincoln "Enjoy your visit to Canada."  Both officers got into the police car and drove away.  As the police car slowly passed the driver's side of Lincoln's car, the handcuffed man in the back seat said "Man, you guys need to relax."

     Lincoln drove the two brothers back to their home in the United States. 

     On their way home on the highway Lincoln had calmed down a bit and found that he much enjoyed the Cannabis candies the police officer gave him, "I have to admit that Canada is a cool place since Prime Minister Justin Bieber legalized Marijuana here.

     Slightly annoyed with Lincoln's ignorance of Canadian politics, Michael replied "Trudeau."  Lincoln was confused, "What?" Michael impatiently corrected his older brother "Justin Trudeau, you idiot.  Prime Minister Justin Trudeau."