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Yesterday, I walked three miles to church. Rice-Boy Larry is currently out of the country, so I didn't take a taxi. My ability at Korean sucks giant ass, and I couldn't be bothered using sign language with the driver to get to my location. It was simply easier to hump my way there.
The pastor got in front of our small congregation and asked who Jesus is to us. And my answer to that question is pretty easy. Jesus is the son of God, so I'm going to kiss his ass until the day I die. And rightly so. What? I should argue with a guy who fed 5,000 hungry people, walked across the Sea of Galilee without sinking, turned water into wine, and came back from the dead after being brutally crucified by the Romans? No, thank you. My mother didn't raise a dummy.
After the service, we gathered and drank coffee. The pastor sat across from me.
He said, "How have you been?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "OK, I guess. How about you?"
"I'm busy all the time."
"I know the feeling. I'm trying to figure out how to file my Korean taxes. It's really starting to stress me out."
"How did you do it last time?"
I smiled at him sheepishly. "My wife used to handle that kind of stuff. But she's gone, and she refuses to help me."
"Don't worry. I can help you out. Just give me a call if you need me."
I nodded. "I appreciate the offer. However, let me see if I can do it myself before I start asking for favors. The last thing I want to be is a burden."
"It's not a burden, and I'm happy to lend assistance. It's my job. I am a pastor after all."
"Thanks. I'll keep you in mind."
I'm not the kind of man who asks for assistance from friends. It has a tendency of turning relationships sour. If you're constantly seeking help, then people eventually start running the other way. Plus it's humiliating to be a needy bastard. Life's tough for everybody, so it's important to stand on your own two feet. Yet who knows? Maybe I have too much pride.
I was offered a ride home, but I refused. So I was forced to hoof it another three miles to get back to my humble abode. However, I didn't mind the exercise. When you become an old bastard, it's important to use your muscles as much as possible. If you don't, they'll freeze up and become both rigid and brittle. I shit you not.
Along the way, I bought a pack of smokes from a convenience store. The lady behind the counter was sitting on a stool and playing with her phone. I became a bit angry. Why couldn't the Dragon Lady have gotten a job like that when she lived with me? She could have made two thousand a month by simply standing behind a cash register. The extra money would have helped a great deal. Bitch.
Later that night, I tried playing Medieval Total War on my computer. Sadly, the game kept crashing. The whole experience was rather frustrating. I was beginning to enjoy myself.
So I walked to my room and watched porno, instead. My favorite videos featured an actress named Lucy Lee. She's not the most beautiful woman in the world, yet her animalistic love of sex really turned me on. I had a good time.
