Educational Experience

Part III--Chapter 9

Well...the inevitable is about to happen. HOW it happens almost made me cry as I was writing it. So...let's just get it over with shall we? And if you play the song I've chosen while you're reading it, you'll feel the "OUCH" even more...

So there we were, Wyatt and me, staring at each other.

Neither of us wanting to state the obvious. Because it wasn't obvious. Or...we both had a different interpretation of "the obvious." And it was going to hurt like snatching off a bandage if either of us said what we were thinking out loud.

We got a temporary stay of execution when Che came running up and said, "You guys! It's going to be midnight soon! C'mon!"

But when we didn't budge, the girls didn't move, either. I could feel them there trying to send me some heavy juju to get me through whatever was about to go down.

And Amelie took hold of Wyatt's arm gently "Come, now. You don't want to miss this. Look!"

She pointed to the ceiling, which was slowly opening up. The arena actually juts out of the back of the tower so that the roof can be opened like that during sports events and such. Everyone looked up and started cheering as the sky slowly appeared above us.

And Amelie gave Wyatt's arm a little pat and said, "Be happy," with all her heart.

It made Wyatt cry, the way she said it. So I told the others, "Just go! This is your night, remember? Do your thing!"

Everybody exchanged little looks. Aisha raised her chin as if to say, "Not even."

But then Mike took her hand and said, "Let 'em alone," in this sort of resigned way.

And Aisha said, "Y'all don't be fightin' up in here," looking right at Wyatt before she waved all the others away.

I didn't hear anything anyone said up onstage, because the look on Wyatt's face after they all left us there was so painful.

She looked like she was dying, I swear. Couldn't even look me in the eyes all the way.

So I walked us sort of to the outside of the crowd and said, "Just say it." I know it didn't sound too convincing, the way I said it. But I meant it.

So she sighed and sort of glanced off to one side like she was looking for an exit she could run to. And at first, her vocal cords didn't even work. I mean, she opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

So she did this little thing like she was counting to ten or something in her head, to give herself time to regroup.

And then she stiffed up her spine and said, "Aisha said it all, didn't she? A minute ago?"

I said, "No," because I didn't feel like letting her off the hook. I wasn't mad. Or...okay, I was mad, but I was mad at myself. I don't even know what for. But I'd already decided it had to be my fault, whatever was about to go wrong. I couldn't blame her. Especially when I saw those big, sad eyes looking up at me right then.

She'd gone chalk white, too. And she looked like if I blew on her she'd fall over.

But she clenched those little fists and said, "I would face...almost anything to stay with you."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. Because I knew she was singing her swan song. And I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to run for that exit, too. If it would save me from having to hear her say we were done.

But she touched my arm and said, "All week I've been trying to find the words to tell everyone to just...fuck off and let me have a life at last."

I managed to say, "So tell yourself that, then."