Educational Experience

Chapter Two

2.

I'm going to give you a little run down of my day first. It may be slow going at first, but you'll understand why I did it when we get to the crazy part.

So, my first class was Arizona History and Government because you have to pass this ridiculous test on that before you're allowed to graduate and I obviously hadn't done that yet. I don't even remember her name anymore, but she had the kids watching Dances With Wolves, which aside from being pretty long past its prime wasn't even about the kind of Indians that live in Arizona. But the teacher was this sour faced old white woman---kinda doughy and sluggish looking--who clearly wished the day was over.

She didn't have long to wait. The days before holidays are almost always half days. They shave off a few minutes from each class to get the day over with as quickly as is legally possible. You have to have a certain number of hours to get state and federal funding for that day, and with their budgets in such dire straits most schools weren't taking any chances. And most teachers kinda slack off on those days-it's like a classic films festival in most schools.

But I could tell she was like that every day, that one. Just plain tired of teaching. Counting down to retirement. And you know, I wasn't mad at her. She was old enough to remember when kids and parents sort of still liked teachers. Today, they get no respect at all--there's not enough money in the world to reward them for all the shit they eat every day.

I was just more mouthful as far as she was concerned, probably. So after the initial "startle" when her eyes followed my extended arm up to my face, the eyes hardened again.

"Whose idea was it to have you come today of all days?" she asked as I handed her my schedule. I needed it signed, because of the probation thing. To prove I'd been there.

"Well, my P.O. thought it would give me just enough time to find where all my classes were and introduce myself," I said. "That way I can hit the ground running when we come back."

She studied the schedule like she was hoping it would magically change before her eyes or something-she even pulled her glasses back up higher on the bridge of her pudgy nose so she could look through instead of up over them.

And as she finally signed it, she frowned even deeper and said, "Lee Ann?"

"Yup."

"Well, I'm going to have to have a talk with that woman," she said.

And then she turned to check on the class and saw that nobody was even facing the Smartboard anymore. Big surprise, right? I mean, they'd probably seen the beginnings of two or three films already-half day schedule. So you couldn't even get into the movie all that much before the bell rang.

But she frowned up like someone had farted or something and yelled, "I'd pay attention if I were you!"

It woke up a few of them. Most only turned to look vaguely in her direction. Which made that Pillsbury dough boy face go all red.

"Your ticket out question is going to be on this," she said. "And believe me you will rue the day if I have to hold you here 'til the end of that damned dance when I have grades to do!"

A few more students turned around to stare at the screen so they wouldn't have to find out what it meant to "rue" a day. And she handed me my schedule back and said, "You're back there," nodding toward a desk over by the windows. It was the last seat in the row, so the kids would have to turn to see me. Which meant she'd catch them at it. She had tricks, this one. Old ones, but they still work most of the time.

The girls were ready for that one, though. They got out mirrors and makeup compacts or put their heads down on their desks in ways that let them look back at me and wink and smile. I smiled back, but I wasn't about to give them any real play.