in every universe (nick and Charlie story

chapter 46

nick pov:

a month after the break up,the worst 4 weeks of my life                                                                                        not just the broke up with charlie but the argument with my mom a week ago like okay we already talked about it and i apoligized to her about leaving like that and she apologized for letting david talk about charlie like that  and her talking about charlie it happened the day charlie had his concert,the concert,his voice is like a angel came from the heaven and him playing on the piano is so beautiful it's like you died and wake up at heaven like i'm not joking, and the whole boy is   angel, my angel,was my angel, not anymore today is one month since we broke up sinnce i lost him and it's thursday afternoon so it means that i'm in my psychology class so it mean sthat i'm sittinig next to andrew yaay, we don't talk if we have to make a group work then we do it alone and we say that we done it together sometimes andrew try to ask the teacher if we can so it alone but she said always says no but it didn't stop him for doing it alone i mean i understand it if i was in his situation i would do the same thing won't talk to my little brothers ex, which his ex did what i did to him, i'm a fucking disgusting person, i can't blame charlie, and on the concert he made before singing cardigan, the speach, about me and him still loving and god how it was good to hear him say that but what he said before made me cry whole night and i realized that i broke him, which make me hate myself even more, why did i done those thing, why couldn't i just tell him, and we could completly ignote this situation why could be happy but no, but we had to live like this, every on esay that the broke up came slowly and you fell it when it's coming, oh yeah, one we are so happy together and then the next i let him walk away, it was like one moment being with charlie and then next without charie,wow that sounded like rufus talking about mateo's death, no stop thinking about that, i read it a few days ago and i cried poot mateo my baby, and poor rufus but i know they are happy together in the afterlife, ught they both die at the end   is the fucking saddest book in the whole world  now i understand why charlie cried after he read it, i rember him calling met that they died an dthe whole night i had to calm him down and the next day we  laughed about it at school it was a day before we broke up which make that memory  a sad on ethe last die we were happy together good i want to go back to that day and re-live it but i can't 

and i can't keep daydreaming on my psychology class al the fucking time but it 's soooo boring "..........so like i told you" said the teacher what the fuck did i missed  again "o month ago you guys need to do a project about your future what uni you want to go and why did you choose it an dwhy do you want to do that" said the teacher and then she turnes to look at me and andrew "and you two if you want to as if you cann do it alone NO you can't so don 't try to ask it"say the teacher and started walking to her desk "you will do it at home and you read it out to me on monday" said he teacher are you fucking kiddin gmedo it together with andrew at on of our houses? go no, i'm not gonna survive this me and andrew don 't say a word i'm too scared to speak up and andrew is just staring at his table probably  thinkinig i look at him "i'm gonn-" i start to say put andrew cut me off "come over today after school" said andrew then the bell ring and he got up and leave with out any word i'm so fucked up god this is gonna be a disaster, anything can be happen, or nothing at all, maybe a i can talk to him about the whole thing an explain it to him, or we can just do out project and htne when we are finished i can go home, yeah that's what gonna happen just doing our project nothing else, bu what about charlie, i mean last time i went over a week ago andrew sended me hoome and he didn't wanted me to see charlie, or charlie to know that i'm there, this whole thing is so messed up 

AFTER SCHOOL

i'm walking to andrews house, my heart pounds like a drum as i'm taking steps, second feels minutes and minutes feel like's hours, with every step he's closer, anything can happen today,maybe everything is gonna be normal, maybe i  can talk to charlie and we can be together again, or nothing will happen and everything is gonna be worse, god i hate this i just want to skip it and just go home i mean we stilll have 3 days to do it i can just message him and say i'm sick, wait no,  no lying anymore, i need to do it ,  i'm not going to run away from this chance, maybe this is the only chance to be with charlie, and everything to be normal, get my lovve back,my friends back, my life here back,i stope infront of the house like the last time but this time i'm going inside, i take deep breath and walk to the door, should i, fuck it, i knock on the door, now i can't run away now, i hear charlie and andrew screaming i chuckles but thrn i stop,charlie is home oh fuck n-, the door open "-yes, charlie i ordered a fucking sex toy for me and addi" said andrew without looking at me and he grab my arms and pull me in he doesn't close the door he look at me "go upstair and don 't make ANY noises"  whisper  andrew  i nodded  andrew nods back and let go of me  "andrew!" scream charlie  from the kitchen and then some thing drop   andrew roll his eyes  "god whit this kid"   say andrew to himself "what" say andrew and walk to the kitchen andi  run upstairs while andrew keep talking to charlie, i run up to andrew's room, and let out a breath that i didn't knew i was holding, okay the first step is done i'm in, same house as charlie, and i'm in his brother room and now what? should i sit down? or just stand here? god this is.........  i take a deep breath okay i'm just gonna stand here and yeah wait for andrew to come up 

after like 10 minutes andrew finnaly came up "gonna do my homework" say andrew and locked his door "locking the door doesn't look like studying" i say trying to joke maybe make this whole thing better andrew shrug  "well if we don't want to charlie walk on you being here then i have to lock it " say andrew and sit down and the floor while taking papers out then he stops to look at me "are you gonna sit down or you gonna stand ther ethe whole time?" ask andrew i nodded and sit down "yeah you are right" i say "but your wall's are tin so he's gonna hear us talking?" i say then loud music start to play i think  andrew smirk "he's not going to hear us" say andrew i laugh i litlle and nod "so how do you want to the project"  i say  "well we can write it down and read it up to ourselves?" say andrew yeah "so you want to talk about the project?" i ask andrew  nods "well we are gonnna read it so we can tell it then?"  say andrew i nodded "okay" 

after 2 hour of doing our  project  in finnaly down thank god "so umm do you want to read it first are should i read it first" i say "you can read it" say andrew i nodded and pick up the paper where i wroted down i clear my throat "um so, from september want to study   in leeds uni, if i get in but if i don't  then in durham university, and there i want to study sport, and education  , if i get in a want to join the rugby team,and after uni i would join a profesional rugby team and if it doesn't work out, i with my sport and education   degree, i would become i rugby coach because rugby is the only thing i'm good at and like my rugby coach said years ago whit my talent i  can make my future with it so that' s what i would like to do, and keep going with rugby" i read it and looked at andrew and he nods "that's it?" he ask i nodded "okay well here is mine" he say and pick up  his paper  

"so from september i want to study psychology in university collage London or university of cambridge,or university of edinburugh  these are the best uni's where i can study psychology and after school i want to becom a therapist but for people who had eating disorder and other disorders, i choose this career because my little brother was suffering with anorexia, OCD (obbsesion complusive disorder) and deppresion. my parent's never noticed and never was there for my brother when he was in his worst time, so  he had just me and my sister. i know how bad it was for him and when my paret noticed it they thought that he's faking it and they had argument's about it  and when it got like really bad  for charlie that's when they realised it that's something is wrong with there it was too late, he was at his worst and that's when i realized what i want to do, i want to help people, teens, kids, who has the same problem, that' swhy i want to study psychology and  that's why i'm taking psychology class" read andrew i was shocked he wroted it down so good "your project is way better then mine" i say andrew chuckles "thanks" he say and we stay in silent ,he's project is good but there is something whta is botherig me, he's telling charlie's mental health story , whiich is charlie's private story which how i know charlie he don't want to anyone know about it "andrew" i say he looks up at me "yeah?" say andrew "um- your project is good an everything, but don't you think that charlie's menthal health is his private story? like maybe he don't  want anyone know about it?" i say and then hsi faced changed to what i never seen before it full of anger and something else i can't read and it make me scared as shit maybe darcy's face is not the worse  angry face i seen in my life, this face is gonna hunt in my  nightmare "well he told you about it"he says "well i know because he trusted me with that?"  i say andrew laughs,but it wasn't the laugh he had when we was hanging out , it was sarcastic laugh, or a cold laugh,another thing to add to my nightmare "well he trusted you with it, and what it ended up? finding out that you're just using him,and your dick wanted someone and charlie was easy catch so you went for it"he says i looked at him shocked then i looked down at my hand "you don't know what are you talking about"si say he laughs "then tell me nick, if i don't know what i'm talking about" he say i opened my mounth o speak but he cut me off  "oh you can't tell anything to it because that what happened "say andrew "if you le-" he cut me off again ehich started to pissing me off is he would let me just explain it to him " and what  the  fuck were you thinking last week huh?  turn up in here and saying you want to talk to him-" "andrew-" "what were you thinking i'm gonna let you in?" "andrew!" i  say louder now "just like that, i don't know what your ego thought that you can just come here" "andrew" "because if you thought i let you in then forget about i saw that video that guy send to charlie that video and it show me  and it was the day we went to that party so if-"  now it was my turn to cut him off

"for god sake andrew that video wasn't about him!"