chapter 22- fake dating coach

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"since when was a couple's panel a thing?" sapnap groans. "i swear they've never had this before."

"they have. you were just single so you weren't invited," noel teases (A/N this is 100% not true i literally made this up but anything for the plot).

"wow, thanks a lot."

"just stating the obvious- i mean the facts."

"you little-"

"what are we going to do?" i interrupt after reading the sentence on my screen for the seventh time. "we can't say no, that's going to look suspicious. and hold on, we haven't even said we were a couple! how did they figure it out?"

"i mean, you guys are being kind of obvious," noel says. "twitch probably saw stuff on twitter and hopped on the cassnap bandwagon."

"nice to know that twitch is in our court," sapnap adds.

"it's not nice! we barely have any practice with this dating thing, and twitch con is at the end of this month! we can not make this look natural by then!" i panic.

"actually, you're both already pretty good at this," noel says. "do you need to go back to twitter and look under the cassnap hashtag like twitch did?"

"don't even joke about them looking under that hashtag."

"do you think they saw us at the party?" sapnap laughs.

"don't even make me think about that possiblity!"

"don't be so uptight," my brother sighs, the phone speaker barely picking up his heavy exhale. "i'm the best fake dating coach in the business. i will train you two to become the best fake couple there is, and by twitch con even you will start believing that your relationship is real."

sapnap and i look at each other with a look in our eyes that says "what was all that gibberish that just came out of his mouth?"

"business?" sapnap echoes, disbelief laced into his voice.

"yeah? duh?"

"there's no 'fake dating coach' business."

"look it up."

sapnap takes out his phone and opens safari. i sigh in disbelief.

"don't actually give him the satisfaction of following his orders," i groan. sapnap ignores me as he types "fake dating coach business" into the search bar.

"nothing pops up," he informs noel, sounding very proud about being right.

"then that just proves i'm the best in the business. because i'm the only one," noel sounds even more proud. i roll my eyes.

"i think it's time to table this conversation," sapnap says. "his ego is getting too big."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘

"this is ridiculous," i say as sapnap and i sit on the couch, watching noel pace in front of us. noel insisted last night that we all meet the following morning so he can coach us on our relationship and help get our relationship timeline story straight.

"first we're gonna have to go over how you guys will act," noel says, pointing at us. "the pictures from your first date looked good, but also a bit awkward. you guys looked stiff. so show me what you got now."

sapnap and i stare at each other momentarily before i shake my head.

"what are you shaking your head for?" noel asks, clearly annoyed.

"it's awkward with you watching," i reply, balling my fists up on my knees.

"you know what's gonna be even more awkward?" noel crouches down to my eye level, his eyebrows raised and his tone laced with sarcasm and annoyance. "thousands upon thousands upon THOUSANDS of people watching you at the convention." he pauses. "i'm sure just showing little old me doesn't sound so bad anymore, huh?"

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