Primrose | REVIEW SHOP [ OPEN ]

★ { Ananas } Captivity

Client: lilac_minded

Reviewer: rebecca_batteur

Title:

The title makes sense and corresponds well to the story that is told here. Already, it is the same name as the video game which will be at the center of the plot and in which all the characters will be taken prisoner. Once again, the title Captivity is consistent since the story is centered around the imprisonment of the characters in this virtual world, although it is perhaps not very subtle. Who knew that the video game called Captivity locks people up? Well... It's not very important I guess but I think that, if it's logical that the title is Captivity, that the game is also called Captivity, that does not necessarily mean that it is the best possible choice. Let's say that it's really ironic and quite blatant as well, we quickly guess what the story, and the game in general, is going to be about. At least it enhances the clarity of the text...

Cover:

I'm not sure I understand this cover. It's not very attractive and I don't find it very clear. I couldn't explain certain choices and the whole thing seemed very obscure to me. First, I believe I understand that the net takes up the notion of imprisonment that you seek to convey. So far, it makes sense. However, why is the net catching what looks like a...whale? What is the significance of the presence of a whale on the cover? The story has nothing to do with the marine world or even with whales. The net alone would have been enough to convey the idea of ​​imprisonment, the whale (or whatever it is) makes the whole thing confusing and seems to have no reason for its presence in the image, or else it is a reason I don't understand.

Then, I also don't see who the character is placed in the background on the image, in a rather strange way since the image is more or less opaque and the character is placed horizontally. If I hadn't zoomed in on the image, I don't know if I would have been able to see that it was a character. Additionally, the blue background that seems to go with the net and the whale makes the background image even less noticeable. I don't understand who this person is, maybe it's someone mentioned in the story but there are so many characters that, apart from the first ones we meet, I haven't been able to figure them out and retain many others. If you want to put someone in the background of the cover, why not put the main character, Awandea?

Blurb:

The summary is, for me, a little too short to give an overall idea of ​​the story that awaits us.

First of all, why are Awandea's first and last names reversed? It would make sense if she was Japanese for example, but Awandea is from Philadelphia. It's just a detail I guess, and it doesn't matter much. You can ignore it if you want.

Then, the proportion giving real information compared to that warning of the possible presence of disturbing elements for the reader is almost equivalent, which is not right in my eyes. A summary can only work if it is worded in a very striking way for the person reading it. However, in this summary, even if nothing is grammatically incorrect, I do not sense anything special that particularly makes the reader want to read. The summary is not false or fundamentally bad but just quite empty and uninteresting in my eyes if it does not seek to be a sort of sample to make potential readers want to read. You need to think about the incentive function. Here, we already have most of the information, which the title perhaps already lets us guess, namely that the story is centered around the main character finding herself stuck in a video game. So far, nothing abnormal, it even makes sense to talk about this given that it is around this element that the entire plot is based on. However, once this point is established, we obtain nothing more, no mystery, no questions, nothing that allows us to cling to what you want to tell us or feel how this book is truly unique compared to others. I don't see anything of the essence of what you write other than the basic idea of ​​the story and I think that's quite a shame since it leaves us with only two sentences to understand what it's about and maybe want to read the book.